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Confessions Of Gay Men Of Color, Your One Night Only Fantasy

gay love

We are yours, completely, to do all that you desire for only one night. One night only do we exist upon the same plane. We are your conscious come to life. A sexual yearning that needed scratching and the awakening of sexual arousal to satiate your physical appetite. The one wish you dare not speak aloud. But we will fulfill all that you require for just one night. And we will disappear in the first light of dawn, by your request, as usual. Our only purpose is to satisfy you for one night. Only one night.

We are selected from various social venues then inspected to ensure we meet the vision of your specifications. Your fantasies. We do not exist outside of the concepts of double rainbows and blue moons. Only between your sheets and between your thighs are we made salient. We are judged to make sure we can lift you and grab you, squeeze you tight in the rare moments when you seek our comfort. Your eyes calculate and measure to ensure that our mythical horn is what you’ve heard about behind closed doors.  But if we appear too wild, surly, or untamed we are asked to leave because we may be too dangerous for your tastes. Then you relay this to us, politely, covertly, or bluntly.

Our mahogany, ebony, caramel skin absorbs the soft light of midnight, the only time in which you have the courage to summon us. While the rest of the world sleeps so they dare not discover this sinful encounter. Few words are exchanged both in text and in person. But we don’t need words because we will let our bodies speak for us. As the descendants of Mother Africa society sees us as the beast of humanity and throughout time has always been reduced to sex. To fuck. We have only one task to perform tonight. Just this night.

Our desires are made into yours. Our dreams of closeness and family and picket fences and soulmates and..love are extinct in this moment. We are not to be seen in daylight. We are the sexual beasts your fantasies yearn for. Our shaft your thighs our hands your sides. Smooth long strokes that shock and bounce you into place. You want us to massage and excite. We see the fear mixed with intrigue and desire in your eyes but we pretend to not notice. We are a mystery you dare not investigate beyond the faint breaths of passion to separate myth and lore from the real being inside of you. A man. You marvel at how much it aches to feel this good. This is your version of living on the wild side. For tonight only.

Our fingers electrify and excite you as you wonder what will happen next. Soft lip biting as our bodies groove into one. Our tongues explore and sensually sear the skin, igniting your body and mind. Then we stride inside, hard and slow, fast and rough. Each thrust and stroke to make your pulse race and raise your body temperature. The sweat only makes us work harder. It’s an elaborate dance we have done time and again. To you, sex is our only purpose only for tonight.

Standing up, sitting in a chair, tied to the floor or bed, pulling you up and down on us. You want us to stretch and collide inside your walls. Going as long and as hard and as deep as you wish. Then deeper. Your moans of delight as we await words or body movement to instruct us further. We whisper how good it feels and move our bodies with enough fervor to make your knees buckle. We will continue this mechanical dance until your toes curl and your back arches to the floor and await the moment you explode from inside and the orgasms lead us panting, gasping for air and some semblance of reality. We are your farm boy, your masseuse, chiropractor, doctor, chef, and lover all at once. For tonight only.

Our supple lips trace with excruciating precision all over your body. You have been convinced we are the experts and are to implement all activities while you can lay back and enjoy all of our efforts. To you we are the beasts of night and only when deemed tame enough are we permitted with going through your checklist of explicit challenges designed to stimulate. But only until the sun rises.

You will ask us to role play for you. To be the aggressive representation the media portrays us as. To playfully reverse centuries old roles and be the master while you are our slave. The beast. Soul is only required in rhythm. Because, in your mind, this is our only specialty. Because to you outside this sexual sanctuary we do not exist. We are just a fantasy.

We are artists, doctors, lawyers, mental health professionals, teachers, construction workers, students, businessmen, investment bankers, activists, and leaders but all that fades in the allure of moonlight. Because we can only serve one purpose, you, for only one night.

And you may call upon us again when you allow your mind to think of we satisfied your thirst, when you are ready to drink from us again and require your body to be caressed and satiated with sexual fantasies. We are not to call or text you, we are not to want to know more about you, we are not even allowed to address that we know each other in daylight for fear that it will expose our sinful transgressions.

Because we are not suitable to meet your friends and loved ones because they either come from a different time or would be unable to appreciate our nights of passion. We cannot make them or you uncomfortable. And for the most part, we at one point in time, will silently accept these terms, out of necessity to satisfy our own desires. Or to somehow prove we are more than the shapely figures you passionately hold onto while driving you into ecstasy. Or when we aren’t strong enough to see differently believe that is our sole purpose. That we exist, to you, for only one night. 

The above is a compilation of conversations and submitted writings I’ve collected over the past several months from some of the experiences that gay men of color have experienced. Often we are only seen as sexual beings only capable for having a hot passionate night of sex. We are fetishized and perceived be to voyeuristic and exhibitionists that sometimes borders on sadomasochism. Some of us are but not all just as any other race. But sometimes we are only seen as this stereotype.

Not even necessarily saying the stereotype or rather the hypersexualization of African American men and other men of color is necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, (with the exception of referring to us as sexual beasts cause that is offensive. And racially insensitive). Remember this is the stereotype that is supposed to work in our favor.

But a real problem arises when you only think of us as sexual beings that only want to have sex all the time. That we don’t have dreams and aspirations and goals outside of that. That we don’t want to build lives together with significant others, to someday have families and being a part of healthy, successful long-term relationships when most of us do want that. This is a perfect example of how some so called good stereotypes still work out negatively for that biased group of people.

When only these stereotypes are believed it can make venturing into interracial dating difficult. How are we going to be able to interact with those that believe that’s all we are capable of being? How are we to overcome being interested in someone or trying to invest time into knowing someone who is terrified of introducing us to their parents and friends?

What do we tell the gay people of color that are apprehensive of having interracial relationships when they’ve been told, “This would be so much easier/less complicated/better if you weren’t black”? Can’t tell us to just stick to our race because not only is that racist but also not always feasible, especially when you live in areas or cities where there are only a handful of out gay men of the same race. Is it our responsibility to challenge these misconceptions every single time we come across them?

These questions are why I reached out over the past few months to some of the gay African American and other gay men I knew to talk about some of the issues we’ve come across in our experiences. We discussed how sometimes we are referred to the mythical beast, a belief that transcends sexual orientation. Because sometimes we are sexualized and made to feel like we can only have one purpose, sex. Now don’t get us wrong, the men and myself included love sex. Love everything about sex. But it is jarring to only be seen as a sexual object. That us dating and interacting with interracial relationships it is something we come across from time to time.

While discussing this we were also aware that there are a few gay men of color that may use this stereotype to their advantage. They may play into the troupe to get what they want and it’s so easy to just go with the vibe of having a great night of sex with no anticipation of commitment. It could be that these men have completely bought into this stereotype and see no reason to investigate further that is reflective of a learned helplessness. But I have found that this is likely the exception to the rule.

And the men and I that have discussed this topic are not saying that this happens every single time we involved with interracial relationships but it does happen often. We brought this up for those that do only see us as sexual beings and remind them that no one with self-worth wants to be seen as a robot that only exists to fill some sexual request. We just wanted to shine a light on how marginalizing a group of people to having only one purpose still is negative, no matter how purportedly good the origins.

It is only our responsibility as gay men of color to be aware of this for our own well-being and not have to teach this each time we come across it. We’re saying everyone should actively investigate the perceptions they have about a group of people, even when that stereotype is perceived to be inherently good.

By sharing this unique collaboration of experiences that we encourage people to think about the perceptions they have a group of people and go beyond that. Learn and investigate on your own. To make note of when you only see people that way, you end up missing out on truly knowing us and finding out the things about us that have much more significance than a fun night of sex.

*Special Thanks to the seven extraordinary men that helped contribute their experiences into this article. And as always my journals for helping me recognize my worth early on when I first came out.*

 

Would You Buy An App That Predicts How Low Your Pendulum Swings?

gay ped

In an attempt to be lighthearted I wanted to bring this up. So often you hear in our technology enthused society that there is virtually an application for anything we want. So hear comes the news of the Predicktor app that claims it can accurately estimate the size and girth of a man’s penis. Here’s part of the description on the creator’s website:

The app shares scientific journal articles reporting on men’s health and sexuality. This includes the actual distribution of penis size, as found in peer review journals. It also touches on selected literature studying what women really think about men’s genitalia – not the locker room giggles but actual results from surveys. Men and women can also compare his personal penis length to published length norms throughout the world! Interested on how many men in Greenland have the same size penis? Compare his size to men around the world.

You have to admit that this is a lot of effort to put into finding this information out.. But my question is, so what if the app is somewhat accurate and you meet up with this guy. What if even though this app is correct he could still be really bad in bed so what next? A sex app that predicts how good someone is in bed? That would probably be more beneficial right? Or is that just me?

No judgement from me but don’t be surprised if this doesn’t live..up to the hype. See what I did there? Okay I’ll stop. But I bet this would be a fun party game for your more adventurous friends.

FRC Hate Group President Tony Perkins Is Having The Vapors Over Gay Penis Size Report

“As a pro-family organization, we would prefer not to use R-rated language in reporting the news–but in our current culture of sexual dysfunction, sometimes it can’t be helped. Fiscal and social conservatives should have no trouble uniting in outrage over the news that federal taxpayer money from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) was used to subsidize a researcher studying the size of the male sex organ in homosexual men. The researchers wanted to see what difference size made for the men’s ‘sexual health.’

“The main difference they found was in the positions assumed when such men engage in a certain sexual act, which former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop rightly called ‘simply too dangerous to practice.’ Men having sex with men is a high-risk activity that should be discouraged altogether, not subjected to bizarre research at taxpayer expense. Let’s tell President Obama, Congress, and the NIH: We’d like to keep our own money and use it to raise our own families.” Family Research Council hate group President and closet-case Tony Perkins, who’s probably more upset that he wasn’t asked to hold the tape measure and fluff during measurements.

The Big Gay News Round-Up: Obama FINALLY Supports DOMA Repeal, Homeless In Frisco, Badash + Savage + Santorum Threeway? , Chris Barron Gets His Ass Waxed, and MORE!

*  President Obama Supports Defense Of Marriage Act Repeal.   It’s about time! –  Christian Science Monitor

*  The Gay and Lesbian Task Force aka The Task Force hosts thier  4th Annual Summerfest in Miami.  Could someone out there please remind me what Task Forces Task actuaslly is again please? – SFGN.com

*  Go homeless in San Francisco, the gayest city in America for only $100 dollars a day!  DanNation

*  Kevin Keller, Acrhie comics first gay character to have his own comic book. I wonder if he’ll find out if Moose is aptly named? –    New York Times

*  Bob Vander Plaats, the President of The Family Leader enjoys a good fag joke with a few close friends – Towleroad
 
*  Looks like David Badash of The New Civil Rights blog will be joing Rick Santorum and Dan Savage in that “hate fuck” as Badash slams Savage over having an “open relationship” and that it might portray the community badly and Dan Savage slams back.  Get a grip girls you can’t all be on top. – Queerty

*  Oren Adar and Mickey Ray Smith who were refused an accurate birth certificate for their Louisiana-born adopted son  case makes it way to the Supreme Court – Couthouse News Service

*  The federal government helped fund a study that examined what effect a gay man’s penis size has on his sex life and general well-being.  Marcus Bachmann volunteered to take the measurements –  Pink News UK

*  The BBC cuts out gay Torchwood sex scene which sets Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) enjoying snog with a hunky barman  because the channel feared a viewer’s backlash.  Since when is the BBC in America? –  Metro.uk

*  GOProud’s Chris Barron gets his ass waxed by CNN’s Ali Velshi when says he won’t question Michele Bachmann about her “ex-gay” clinic .

Andrew Breitbart Leaks Anthony Weiners Penis Photo – Wanna See Weiner’s Wiener?

Supposedly Andrew Breitbart made a deal with Rep. Anthony Weiner that he wouldn’t leak Weiner’s penis pic as not to as Breibart said ” “I don’t think I want to put his family through that type of thing.”

But that didn’t stop Briebart from whipping out his IPhone and showing the pic to some buddy’s who immediately photographed it and has sent it on its merry way.

So now its ALL out and  this should invalidate whatever deal  cut with that douchebag Briebart not to show it and hopefully Briebart will be prosecuted for attempted extortion and blackmail.

Now about the pic.  Its fuzzy but DAMN Anthony is packing a nice piece!

I told you all he has the biggest balls in the House

UPDATE:  I have removed the picture of Anthony Weiner’s penis from Back2Stonewall.com.  My integrity has won out over page views.

I saw it.  Its impressive and I still think that this is not such a huge deal as to ruin a brillant politican’s career. 

If you want to follow-up on this please head over to Gawker.com

Video Anthony Weiner’s Press Conference – It WAS Weiner’s Wiener Big Deal. (Oh Wait It Is BIG!)

This afternoon Rep. Anthony Weiner held a press conference where he did admit that the picture of the man in the grey boxers with an erection is him and he did send it. 

Weiner is not resigning nor should he.  He has broken no law, and has not broken any Rules of the House.

And for those of you out there who say its a double standard for him to get away with it because if it were a Republican like Chris Lee, or Larry Craig you are 100 PERCENT WRONG.

Anthony Weiner unlike all those hypocritical Republicans who were caught did not run on Family Values Platform like Lee or Craig and even before his wedding 2 years ago was a bit of a ladies man (Dammit!)  So there goes the double standard argument.

And everyone get over it.  Especially the press and media.  What year is this 1662?  Want him to wear a BIG RED W on the front of his pants.

As for the picture.  Impressive Anthony!  You  might have to change your name to Anthony Hebrew National Bun Sized Franks

Video – Jon Stewart On Weinergate: ‘No way! His dick is just not that big’

Jon Stewart of the Daily Show took a long hard look at Anthony Weiner’s wiener and “Weinergate” last night a story that hits close to home to Stewart.  So close in fact that Stewart spent weekends when he was younger at  Anthony Weiner’s lake house in the mountains and as Jon compared the picture to his memories of swimming experiences with Weiner he concludes that the picture is indeed NOT Weiner’s wiener because as Stewart puts it.  “There was a lot more Anthony and alot less weiner.”

Tampa Bay Rays Evan Longoria Naked And Swinging A Mighty Bat

Tampa Bay Rays 3rd baseman Evan Longoria sure knows how to swing a mighty bat!  The 24-year-old had a nudie photo hit the interwebs yesterday that was obtained by Barstool Sports writer Jenna who says he tried to hook up with her through Facebook, years ago, before he joined The Rays.

LONGoria never denied or apologized for the picturs.  And as you can see after the jump he has NO REASON to apologize.  It’s a mighty impressive louisville Slugger he swings.

CLICK “Read more” below for Evans NWSF pic.

Evan LONGlorious

Thomas Jane Talks About How "Hung" He REALLY Is! (Video)

Thomas Jane goes all out for the June/July 2010 issue of Men’s Fitness.  Here’s what the 41-year-old Hung stud shared about his own appendage

On his penis size: “I’m a textbook average guy. I’m 5′10″, I wear a model suit size — 40 regular, 32-inch waist pant — and a size 10 shoe. Everything about me is prototypical. Everything. I even have a right-down-the middle-exactly-average dick.  (Sorry aize queens!)

But you have to admit Jane is HOTTER THAN HELL!

Check out the photoshoot video below!