Tag Archives: LGBT lifestyles

Gay Men: Don’t Be A Hypocrite When You Preach About Discrimination And Equality

I know it’s the start of the holiday season and everyone is ready to devour copious amounts of food and drink while having laughs with loved ones. but I need to get this gripe off my chest before partaking into any festivities. And you can call me a prude or uptight or whatever other quantifiers you deem appropriate but I need to say this. Why is it acceptable in our community to make fun of what others look like? To take pictures of others and make fun of them? I ask this because lately I see a lot of it lately, on both twitter and facebook. And it’s disturbing.

It amazes and saddens me that during a time of year when we are innately calleed upon to spread goodwill and harmony but instead these anonymous pictures (without their consent) are satrewn all over the internet. It shocks me when people I once had a lot of respect for engage in this useless sport. Because it is some sort of twisted sport now, where it seems some in our community try to one up someone by captuuring thge most degrading images they can find.

Disgustingly taking these pics of people in need like the homeless and instead of you helping them find food and shelter you take a pic for the world to see that person at their lowest point? What the hell is wrong with you and have you lost all sense of humility aand morality? Laughing at them, critiquing these men and women at what could be their most vulnerable time and basically objectifying them.

This is particularly the case with some gay men in social media. In our society, where in many cases we receive so much spite and vitiriol on a daily basis for being gay. For wearing pink, or makeup, women’s clothes, or whatever society sees as “effeminate” but we know the truth. We know that we vary in opinion, personality and what is perceived as “manly”. We’re all complex, different, beautiful beings. And we rail against anyone when our differences are perceived as weaknesses. We are not and will never be weak.

So then please explain why the hell you think it’s acceptable to do that to another person. This petty rhetoric of discrimination on looks and demeanor. You can call it spilling tea as much as you like but when you do shit like this it really makes you look like a pretentious asshole.

Solely on the way they look? Is our community so fucking obnoxiously obsessed with the physical form that you have to degrade someone else to the lowest form? Look, I get it, we are stringent in our critiques of our bodies and while some feel there is a certain way to be gay, there’s not. But there is, however a certain way to be a decent human being and that involves not putting other people down.

Does that make you feel better when you claim to celebrate an ethnicity/culture/race when really all you’re doing is caraciturizing it? If you partake in this then that makes you a hypocrite. If you’re always stating how we shouldn’t be treated differently (and we shouldn’t) but you partake in this then you are the personification of a hypocrite. If you scream and yell at the thought of someone making fun of you because you’re gay and you do this, then you’re a hypocrite.

I’m not your parent, relative, boss or authority figure in any way, shape, or form. But think of the way you treat others, not only during holidays but every day. And I’m not saying what you should or shouldn’t see, feel, or do with your body. but honestly, how can you ever expect anyone to treat you with respect when you don’t do the same?  It’s food for thought.

Is Astrology In The Stars For The Gay Man?

Contributor’s Note: It’s been a hectic day with not a lot of LGBT news today so I share more of my past musings of the stars and love (kinda mushy stuff). Enjoy!

I am simply amazed by the stars. I gaze upon them nightly to revel in the mysteries of the universe.  My first (and one of my favorite) memories as a child is when my mom had gotten off work and picked me up to take me home. I was crying in the backseat wanting attention and my mom said, “look up! Look at the moon!” And I was so mesmerized by it. I stared at it saying “moon. Moon. MOON.” the entire way home and she told me a story about the warrior of the moon. Since then, I always need to see the stars and moon each night and growing up I HAD to learn the name of constellations, meteors. This is why I get upset whenever I can’t see them because of the clouds, bad weather, or obligations. Whatever it is, I need to see them every night and learn as much as I could about them, including astrology.

As a result, Astrology is the reason I read as much as I could find growing up about the planets and how the stars affect us and our world.But is ti wise to use this as a daily influence in all aspects of my life? Should I use this for career? Friendships? Love? Sure there are some that say that astrologically speaking that our sexuality makes our readings different but I doubt it. Yes we are different than straight men but only in who we’re attracted to and that’s all. It made me wonder do we question these perceived phenomena as fact or a fun observation of behavior. But I’ve never compared my past relationships and astrology before. I’m pretty sure I know everything there is to know about what a Libra means. We love beauty hope harmony and peace and love itself. We love love. Libras go out of our way to accommodate others so that they’re at ease. We find beauty in just about anything. We can’t stand loud noises or obnoxious and rude personalities and abhor, detest, flat out hate conflict of any kind. And though we’re very relaxed and passive, we become livid when we feel there is injustice and will do all in our power to fight for equality ( LIBRAS UNITE FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY). All of that and I not once with my past exes considered how compatible our astrological signs are.

So I wondered about our culture as  gay men and our tendencies to use astrology in our daily lives. So I’ve been in and looked back on our signs of past relationships and I’ve dated almost half of the astrological signs and supposedly been highly compatible with all of them. But aside from two of them, astrology was wrong because the things that should come easy were extremely hard, like spontaneity with the Scorpio or lack of emotional investment from the Aquarius. Actually my worst relationship was with a guy I was supposed to be the best match for. It was their personalities that differed. Did they make some good comparisons about what our relationship was like? Yes it did. Did it affect our relationship? Absolutely not.

I don’t know what I consider to be too careful in a relationship. I’m cautious by nature in matters of the heart. And even though I’m really into astrology I don’t take what they say literally. While I may panic when the sign isn’t in it’s proper house or become a hermit when Mercury is in retrograde (which is going on now until August 8th) I rely on instincts and only use the stars as inspiration. I know many don’t give credence to ‘what the stars say’ but I do pay attention and whether it is true science or mere coincidence, I am all for having more awarenesses about ourselves and those around us. But you can’t apply that logic to a relationship. I believe if I had the relationship would’ve ended a lot sooner and been less satisfying. Not because I was taking advice from an outside source but because I wasn’t trusting my instincts or what my heart was telling me. And while the stars may speak to my heart, only I can speak for my actions.

I will always love to star gaze and be mesmerized by the moon as I ponder what is beyond the stars in the sky every night. Daydreaming of possibilities and opportunities that I have either not realized or not yet succeeded. They are my muse and my inspiration for what I question in this life and what I aspire to learn about myself and others. they inspire me to be a better gay man for myself and our community and to help anyone that I have the power to help. Maybe they are a part of destiny and soulmates as I do believe in both. But I trust my instincts for what to do in my search for love. I love the stars, but I trust my heart.

So, fellow readers, what guides you?