Despite the fact that Donald Trump was absent from Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, but that didn’t stop headliner Hasan Minhaj of The Daily Show from some extreme roasting of Trump in his speech.
Minhaj: “The leader of our country is not here, and that’s because he lives in Moscow. It’s a very long flight. It would be hard for Vlad to make it. It’s a Saturday.”
As for the other guy, I think he’s in Pennsylvania because he can’t take a joke.”
Crissle West — writer, comedian, and co-host of The Read podcast — popped by Comedy Central’s Drunk History this week to dutifully drain a few glasses of boozer and retell the story of the Stonewall Riots, and Marsha. P. Johnson’s involvement in it and got it all wrong, basically just telling the same tired trans-activists narrative lie of that fateful evening on June 28, 1969.
West’s version of the same old lies and rewriting of history by trans-activists with an agenda to steal Stonewall from the gay men and lesbians and put trans-people as the stars of this historical event when in actuality they were only a small part of the supporting cast.
FACT: Marsha Johnson was homeless because she had mental health problems. She suffered psychotic breaks and a multiple personality disorder. And while loved by many was actually banned from many of the gay bars in the Village.
FACT: She was not a customer at the Stonewall. She wasn’t inside the Stonewall. Neither was Sylvia Rivera. The only person who ever said Sylvia Rivera was inside the bar was Rivera herself and not one confirmed patron ever saw her of Johnson in the bar.
FACT: Johnson did not “spark” the riots. She did not throw a shot glass inside the Stonewall. No one did. And she did not give a speech. In her own words she was not near the bar when the riot started. There was no one person who “sparked” the riot, although the closest candidate would be a lesbian who resisted being hustled into a police car. A lesbian. Not a crossdresser. Not a transgender.
FACT: The Stonewall riots were 3 nights, not 2.
FACT: Gay youth did not have access to bars and dance clubs as the video claims. In fact, there was a group of homeless white and Latino gay kids living on the street near the Stonewall and they – not transsexuals or transgenders – were the ones who fought most fiercely.
FACT: The rioters were overwhelmingly gay male. They were largely white (reflecting the makeup of NYC in 1969), but there was substantial Latino and African American participation. There were only a tiny number of crossdressers at Stonewall, in the range of 2-4, and Johnson was the only transgender present. This is out of a cumulative 3-night crowd of 2000. There were far more heterosexual rioters at Stonewall than crossdressers or transgenders.
At Rob Lowe’s Celebrity Roast Ann Coulter Gets Burned At the Stake: The 20 Best Slams – Video
The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe aired Monday night, with many of the previously reported digs — at both roastee Rob Lowe and roaster Ann Coulter — making it to air.
Even though the night belonged to Rob Lowe, Coulter found herself to be recipient of the night’s most scathing jabs. The conservative pundit bitch commentator was frequently panned to throughout the roast, showing viewers of the Comedy Central special just how unamused she was by her fellow roasters.
Roasters included Jimmy Carr, Coulter, Pete Davidson, Nikki Glaser, Jewel, Ralph Macchio, Peyton Manning, Rob Riggle and Jeff Ross, with David Spade served as Roast Master.
Below, a roundup of some of the 20 most outrageous burns and the ruthless public flogging deserving of only a fear-mongering racist who has spread hate upon the world for almost two decades…
“Ann Coulter, if you’re here who’s scaring the crows away from our crops?” — Pete Davidson
“Last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes in them.” — Davidson
“Holy shit, is that Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter is here, which can mean only one thing: someone must’ve said her name three times. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.” — Riggle
“Fun fact: Ann Coulter has a big angry bush. No joke, that’s just a fun fact.” — Riggle
“As a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said up here tonight. But as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.” — Jewel
“Jeff Ross is going to party like it’s 1999. Ann Coulter is going to vote like It’s 1899.” — Jewel
“Ann you do look great though, you’re almost as thin as Donald Trump’s chance at winning the election.” — Jewel
“She ordered something to go. The entire kitchen staff. She was like leave … the country.” — Jewel on being behind Coulter in line at Chipotle
“Gay men love Ann Coutler. It’s because two minutes into hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy.” — Jewel
“One of the most repugnant, hateful hatchet bitches alive, but it’s not too late to change, Ann – you could kill yourself.” — Jimmy Carr
“Ann Coulter’s pussy — seriously this gets classy — Ann Coulter’s pussy is now so old and dry that it just got a job drawing cartoons for The New Yorker.” — Carr
“I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. Congrats on that Ann. Great job.” — Manning
“Ann Coulter has written 11 books. Twelve if you count Mein Kampf.” — Glaser
“The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.” — Glaser on Coulter
“Don’t be mad. At least I acknowledge the Holocaust, Ann doesn’t even think it happened.” — Glaserg
“She seems stiff and conservative, but she gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the clan.” — Spade on Ann Coulter
“I haven’t seen you laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.” — Spade on Coulter
“I want to welcome you all to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe.” — Ann Coulter
“Ann what happened? You wrote 11 books but you couldn’t write a single f—ing joke?” — Ross
“Ann, after your set tonight. We’ve all witnessed the first bombing that you can’t blame on a Muslim.” — Lowe
In the end when it finally came time for Coulter to roast back, she opted instead to promote her book and make jokes about David Spade being the only “spade” to vote for Trump, Peyton Manning’s support of Jeb Bush, and Pete Davidson being bi-racial, all of which fell completely flat. Like her face.
The original Friars Club Roasts began in 1950 and were first televised in the late 1960s, The roasts themselves were a testimony to the talent of a certain guest by a jury of his entertainment peers taking their comedic barbs at a guest of honor.
Last night Comedy Central presented and taped the roast of James Franco and yes you guessed it, the gay jokes flew through the room like a twinkie at a 50 percent off Abercrombie and Fitch sale.
The only problem is that most of them just weren’t funny.
Here are just a few.
Jonah Hill: “He’s like our generation’s Johnny Depp, if Johnny Depp was a worse actor who blew guys.”
Jeff Ross (on the missed opportunity with Milk and 127 Hours): “[They should’ve been] one epic movie where you get your dick stuck in Sean Penn’s asshole for five days.”
Seth Rogen:”Every guy wants to be him and he wants to be in every guy.”
Andy Samberg: “James Franco has force fed me so much dick, you could make foie gras out of my liver.”
The few respites from the “gay attack jokes came in the form of Sarah Silverman who of all people and Aziz Ansari who took a gentler approach at Franco and zinged back at the other roasters.
Sarah Silverman: “I don’t think James is gay or straight. It’s just that he literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s fucking.”
Sarah Silverman: “Jonah actually gained 50 pounds for his role in the new Martin Scorsese film because the producers wanted the character to be a Jonah Hill type. But seriously you’ve had such a body transformation in the past couple of years. You have come a long way from just being Sonny and Cher’s daughter.”
Aziz Ansari: “So many gay jokes tonight about Franco. Apparently if you’re clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you’re super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face?
”Crass, unfunny and offensive? Well that is for you to decide. But the bad gay jokes aren’t really all that surprising since they are from these self-styled comedians and hactors who are also not funny. Seth Rogen? Jonah Hill? Jeff Ross? Pleeeease.
But no matter what they say we love our James Franco. Now if he’d just call us and come over to make some foie gras.
*The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco when airs September 2 at 10 pm on Comedy Central.
Comedienne Daniel Tosh of Comedy Centrals Tosh 2.0 cares about his staff. So much so that Daniel invited Los Angeles’s gay pleasure coach Bob Patrick to take care of his boys (and one girl) as a Bonus!
All I ever got as a Bonus was tickets to Les Miserables’ dammit!