Hunger. Insatiable hunger that is unending consuming all other thought reason and any shred of sensibility. 

Blamed for the destruction of morals and society. No wisdom with corrupted minds. Our bodies the ruined temples of Babylon. The inventors of sin and temptation. Anticipation and exploration the foundation to destruction. Vapid and feminine is our crime. For we are not seen as man from two simple words.  More than promiscuous. We are thieves of prosperity. This is what we’re called. Those that openly choose to embrace the desires of body. We’re all sluts with multiple slits. Fodder and comedic relief for the fearful. Constantly in search for a groove to fill.  We’ll do anything for it. We are known as the generation of sluts. Products of nature that are the abomination to nature. This dirt will always linger 

But history has not always been the magistrates to truth. Sluts have been the disgrace and at the same time a commodity to society. Equitable but not equal. It sells religion. Then it transcended to us. Queer is sluts. Immoral and Ungodly. The misandry of feminine constructs and defilement of family values. We are the deviants of sexual proclivity. Sinners and a bunch of other jargon filled with harmful ways and ill intentions. We are defined by not by action but mere assumption. We are seen as a part of this diseased insatiable hunger.

We all hunger. We all have an appetite. They may not be the same but all derived from the same place. What makes one desire greater than the other. Either we are all sluts or no one is. 

This is one of my more dark entries of my journal that I’m sharing with you all today because despite the fact that I’ve written about the sometimes poisonous effects conformity has had on our community I wanted express my discontent in a way most of my readers are not used to hearing in an unconventional way.  Also allows me to express my more creative side. What inspired this was all the endless times we are told to be ashamed for being queer men and women. It’s the justification of saving us from ourselves that’s often used to torture us hoping for us to submit to their laws that have always been a contradiction and a lesson in hypocrisy. How can we feel free when we are given a limit to how we love?

Many of the people that are depicted as sluts are in reality so far away from the original definition. It went from sexual depravity to social dissonance. It’s now about demonizing and compared to promoting child abuse and perversions of humanity. We were grouped together to save some the hassle of it questioning their core beliefs that came from man, not Divine Reasoning. Race in this country has also been lumped into this group. A real travesty in semantics.

It sets all of us up that are different as troupes, as we have to constantly perform and dance around everyone else to make any progress. We are not allowed to just take an affirmative stand against our oppressors but instead enact upon this delicate, intricate, tiring dance all the while having to convince them that we are just like them. Just like any dance, the longer we do it the more we lose a bit of ourselves and what we stand for. But we aren’t and nor should we aspire to be like anyone other than ourselves.

One of the biggest things I have advocated for through my writing, particularly in the past year is to voice how we are expected to fit into the mold of heteronormative behavior which is to fall in love and marry a woman. To raise a family and live up to the moral code deemed by religious zealots as the righteous and Godly path. Or else we’re sinners destined to fire and brimstone. I for one don’t feel God would ever create something as beautiful as love and then expect us to fit it into some small spectrum in which to express it and that all this religious grandstanding is nothing more than fear of being wrong.

Because of there’s one thing I’ve learned in this life is that we’re most vocal at the things we fear and those situations that make us think “maybe we aren’t right”. Let’s face it, that’s a terrifying prospect because then you have to ask if I’m not right, are they? So we (or rather they) will do everything in their power to oppress us more to silence their own inner torment of fear than any law they’re so desperately trying to enforce by God. I mean come on people, it’s GOD we’re talking about here. The creator of all things. I don’t think he needs your help in micromanaging well..anything.

I feel that so many of the issues that we face as community, in particular sex education and prevention of communicable diseases is a direct result of that. Repression almost always manifests in a grand form. Some of us don’t want to have families with picket fences and 2.3 pets. Some of us are not Christians and the concept of God means nothing to us. It is more than okay if that is the life that you want so long as it is for you and not to prove something to everyone else. Because how can it be real if it’s based in ideology and image rather than desire? Repression leads to seeking answers from any source instead of the right source. A generation of gay men were nearly wiped out because of this.

This assimilation has worked. Look at the dynamics of our community compared to Harvey Milk’s generation. We went from a truly diverse representation of our differing interests and cultures to one homogeneous entity that shuns individuality. From an oneness in solidarity to a community that promotes only one. Somewhere along the line, we began to believe them when they told us we’re wrong.

Maybe some of the leaders in this community are just as afraid of us truly standing out and being who we truly are. especially when they have signs like this just to show how much we are like them. It depicts the majority of us as the children of Babylon, that are looking to party until we run society into the ground.

Sorry, but no. if it means that I have to aspire to something no one will ever see me as a member of because of the color of my skin then why should I or any other LGBT minority try to fit in. Or any lesbian, bisexual, transgendered man or woman, or women in general because that is how this community treats them.

Notice how we say gay rights way more than LGBT rights. Because it’s easier and they can so easily look like them while the rest of us have to lurk in the back. Because we don’t want to upset them by being too abnormal or weird. Want to show how much we are like them that it has become okay for some of us to shame members of this community because we refuse to be anyone other than ourselves.

My point is that we as a community have spent so much time doing all that we can to show the rest of society an exact replica of themselves and that we all have the same values. And we do, to an extent. We wanted to have the same rights and privileges as every other citizen of this country. We want the same options and if we choose to embark upon them then we should be able to without fear for our values or our lives. We’ve also worked hard to distance ourselves from this history of sluts that they put us into when that was never truly who we are or have ever been And neither have they. We have adapted this history of sluts as it systematically divides us because we do not show the true representation of us.

Sexuality and sexual identity is one of the biggest parts of us yet we spend so much time shaming others in this community when we do not fit that image of normality. We have always been illustrated in poor lighting and now that we have a stronger platform we cannot conform to what the society deems are moral and just behavior that shames and ignores so many in this community. We need to show instead of how much we are like everyone else that we are in fact different in some aspects, but that makes the rest of society no better than us in any way. History has shown that the truth can be subjective until we choose to be authentic while refusing to accept anything but equality.  By standing instead of performing and putting on a front that divides instead of unites. To show that we have never been sluts.