Remember the marches on Washington? Those were the gays!
April 25
*April 25, 1284 – Edward II, who ruled from 1307-1327, is one of England’s less fondly remembered kings. His reign consisted of feuds with his barons, a failed invasion of Scotland in 1314, a famine, more feuding with his barons, the murders of his two male lovers and an invasion by a political rival that led to him being replaced rather gruesomely by his son, Edward III.
King Edward II is born in Caernavon Wales. Ancient Christianity had tolerated homosexuality (In the 12th century the king of France elevated his lover to high office) but by the mid 13th century life was harder on gays and Edward was made an example. His first lover Piers Gaveston ended in Gaveston’s murder by courtiers. After his death, Edward “constantly had prayers said for [Gaveston’s] soul; and spent a lot of money on Gaveston’s tomb
His second affair, with Hugh le Despenser, ended with the Barons arresting and imprisoning them both. Le Despenser had his genitals cut off and burned in front of him and was then beheaded. Edward as forced to abdicate the throne and pass it on to his son, Edward, who was crowned Edward III in February 1327. The deposed king was murdered in September of that year by having a red-hot poker inserted in his anus.
*April 25th, 1978 – St. Paul, Minnesota votes to repeal its four-year old gay-rights ordinance by a margin of 2-1. Mary Richards was not happy.
*April 25th, 1979 – Jury selection begins in the trial of Dan White for the murder of S.F. Mayor George Moscone and gay activist Supervisor Harvey Milk. In a controversial verdict that led to the coining of the legal slang “Twinkie defense,” White was convicted of manslaughter rather than murder in the deaths of Milk and Moscone. White served five years of a seven-year prison sentence. Less than two years after his release, he returned to San Francisco and committed suicide. San Francisco Weekly has referred to White as “perhaps the most hated man in San Francisco’s history.”
*April 25th, 1993 – The third March on Washington happened and has an estimated attendance one million people. Although gays in the military was the major issue of that march it also marked the first time that same-sex marriage gained some notice, as well. On the day before the march, the Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, married 2,000 gay couples in a ceremony on the steps of the Internal Revenue Service building. Although the event was largely obscured by the march itself, for those who participated it was a transforming occasion.
“I remember going down to escalators to catch the Metro to the IRS,” recalls Aleta Fenceroy of Omaha, who married her partner Jean Mayberry at that ceremony, “and the whole subway tunnel burst out with people singing ‘Going to the Chapel.’ It was one of those moments that still gives me goose bumps when I think of it.” Later that day, she and Mayberry walked around Dupont Circle with wreaths of flowers in their hair, receiving the congratulations of strangers.
*April 25th, 1995 – Lawrence, Kansas passes an ordinance prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. The law, the culmination of a 7-year struggle, is the only one of its type in the state of Kansas.
We are a community. We are diverse with our own styles music preferences and goals. We want to be treated as an individual being that has different aspirations and dreams and driving force that gets us out of bed each morning. We may not all engage in the same activities or have the same interests. We may not prefer to participate in activism or show up for Pride each year. We may not have any resemblance to what is referred to as a gay lifestyle. But we are still a community that shares a commonality that sets us apart from the rest of society.
Even though the word and meaning of community itself is used too broadly or has been pontificated too extensively we are all still members of a diverse community of men and women that share one commonality in that we are different than the rest of society. A difference that may take a lifetime to accept but once it happens, becomes a milestone of growth. So much of our time as activists and leaders is spent on eradicating this truth that we are different while advocating for equal rights to the point now that it’s laughable. Some of us have yet to understand that different doesn’t mean better or worse. Just different.
So while posters are made to illustrate how we all want families with the perfect spouse that precedes having perfect children and perfect careers and perfect lives, it completely omits the fact that we love having sex with other men. Numerous seminars and endless lecturers going across the country explaining that the reason we deserve the right to marry is because we are all the same when we aren’t. We are different than our straight counterparts and it’s an injustice to who we really are to argue otherwise. What we should be doing is showing how those differences should have no bearing on our rights as citizens of this country and how we should be celebrating these attributes rather than hiding them.
Those of you who’ve read my past assertions know this isn’t the first time I’ve spoken about embracing our differences because that is what brings real change in society. Real change does not happen by assimilating or replicating some notion of normality that closely emulates the rest of society. This is usually what I say when talking to some zealot that calls us sinners but today I’m reiterating this message for us as well. Because truthfully nothing aggravates and saddens me more than seeing fellow gay men who harbor on the perceived negative attributes of this community so much that they feel the need to separate themselves from it. Or even worse campaign against it. This is much more than a criticism or observation on how we need to improve. It’s outright contempt that leads to their own dissonance from this community and is so strong that they renounce their gay membership.
At some point some of us felt that in order to have all the rights as the rest of society meant that we have to distance ourselves from the people who are the most like us. So in turn you’ll see some that’ll place themselves on a pedestal while giving some wistful humorous sermon about how degrading gay culture is. They’ll haughtily laud about messy bottoms and the degrading obstacles to quench their thirst or tops who don’t know how to be a man all while projecting their obvious self-loathing on to everyone else.
They will only focus on the adventures in bathhouses with disdain or worse that they will disgustingly treat the men in our community living with HIV as if they’re lepers while making tacky, tasteless jokes. Sadly this behavior is not limited to those living with HIV. The apathy towards the transgender men and women in this community still astounds me to this day. The ardent disregard and dry puns while these men and women are being beaten and murdered with hardly any stringent federal laws to protect them. We even have so called LGBT leaders that dismiss their transphobia as being too sensitive.
Those leaders will start misguided campaigns all to increase their agency and once their hot button reaction has become apathetic they move on to their next object. All this while not listening to those who are in the trenches seeing the harsh realities every day rather than in suit and ties at a gala for celebrities that want to boost their image. They’ll constantly say how we need to better ourselves while all they do is bring nothing but their own negativity and bitterness. They are too jaded to give real constructive criticism on how to further enrich our community.
Sometimes wanting to distance oneself from the community is about the rejection from others within this community. Because when some of us feel so much pressure to fit into this mold of what we’re supposed to say or do that we feel lost and without a voice. As a result they feel there’s no other alternative than to completely distance themselves from anything they associate with being gay out of self-preservation and maintaining their sanity. It all becomes so overwhelming because they feel as though people will only see gay and nothing else.
It all saddens and frustrates me to no end. Each time I come across these men I challenge them to seek out more than what is so easily seen on the surface because I’ve learned that no matter how much you assert that you need distance from this community that you will always be a member. The more you insist that as a whole, we are nothing more than a bunch of hypersexualized drug addicts looking for the next conquest to fodder over on social media that you are still a member of this community. No matter how you’re not into the gay scene or whatever you entail that to be. No matter how disheartened by what you believe to be superficial or uncaring about this community you are still a member.
Just like I will always be an African American, no matter what it is a part of who I am. Sure I could distance myself as much as I want from rap and rhythm and blues and Afros and cornrows and dance moves like twerking or stereotypes like eating fried chicken or watermelon or any other cultural aspect that identifies me will never separate me from the truth that I will always be a black man and society will always remember that as well.
Because if I deny all that is associated with being an African American then I’m also denying the March on Washington and Dr. Martin Luther King and Bayard Rustin and Rosa Parks. I’m missing out on learning more about the collective history and embracing a history rich with an aesthetic that instills survival and perseverance that taught me how to stand even when it seems meaningless. Observing it enables me to know how I want to be treated and how I choose to interact with others. This mindset helped me understand that simply submitting to my adversaries or their oppressive objectives leads to more oppression.
And the same goes for being gay. Distancing yourself from gays that go clubbing is like distancing yourself from those that stood up for their right, our right at Stonewall Inn so that you have the right to choose. Saying that you’re too good to associate with gays that are too effeminate or too girly is like saying you’re not really gay because wanting to be with another man is a feminine trait. It’s this type of self-hate that people who have the proclivity to renounce gay life that is so damning it rivals the bigots that make it their life mission to campaign against us. It’s counterproductive and it needs to end. You will always be gay and no amount of fitting in or assimilating or emulating or distancing from the rest of us is ever going to change that.
All of this I’m sure I’ve mentioned before but this installment is the result of talking to a guy I spoke with today that told me that he hates being gay because he is tired of being seen only as one big stereotype that society will never accept. And he’s even more disheartened by what he describes as the constant animosity he experiences within the gay community. The conversation knocked the wind out of me because he essentially disliked his identity and those associated with it so much that even with the unwavering support of his loved ones he hates being gay and hates himself. And it broke my heart a bit hearing him have such a hopeless resolve.
He expressed that he doesn’t feel like he has the freedom to truly embrace who he is without being judged as being too feminine or not manly enough. And when he does embrace those aspects of himself that men say his aren’t good enough for him and that men that do accept his “gayer” side that he encounters aren’t interested in anything outside of those stereotypes of sex and drugs. He went further on this point by saying he doesn’t have the perfect body so feels like he’s constantly being critiqued. So he feels that he has to distance himself from the rest of us because no one will ever see him as more than a stereotype. Naturally I sympathized with this sentiment as I myself felt animosity towards this community I was made to feel as though I’m a magical negro that’s only purpose was to fulfill any sexual desires of the men I slept with.
But I explained to him as I’m explaining to you all know that while the actions of others can detour you from wanting to associate with the community as a whole that you cannot let that stop you from seeking out meaningful friendships and relationships from this community. As I spoke my words became more passionate because while I understand where the urge comes from to show your individuality, giving up on finding something meaningful from other gay men does nothing. While I realize that the man I spoke with today may just have a general depressive affect men at this point of his life his sentiment is experienced by a lot of other gay men.
So in my opinion it’s imperative that we remember we are a community. Regardless of the circumstances of why you are in conflict this is still a part of you. Challenge yourself to see the diversity and be an active member of your own life that seeks out what relationships you want from other people. You can choose to give into believing that whatever you perceive to be superficial all that exists within this community and miss out or keep looking and asking. Never settle for what you see on that surface.
Black Republicans came out in force at the Republican National Committee’s Monday Luncheon event to mark the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington with many speaking out that you can’t compare LGBT Rights to Civil Rights:
Former Congressman Allen West
“It’s apples and vegetables,. You’re talking about a race of people, I don’t think you can make that comparison between a race of people and the gay rights movement, if that’s what you want to call it. I think about what my parents had to endure in South Georgia in the ’40s and ’50s… You know, we made some strides when you look at the fact that I was able to run a congressional district that was 92% white and when I was born my parents could not have gone there. Now there are still some things we have to do. When you read that speech, you really understand what we have to do better in the black community.”
North Carolina GOP committeewoman Ada Fisher:
“I think it’s unfortunate that people have diluted the purpose of the march on Washington. I think it’s an unfair comparison. Whenever anybody wants something in this country they compare it the civil rights movement. The fight is giving equal rights and equal opportunity to Americans. The immigration movement is disingenuous, we don’t talk about the impact of illegal immigration coming and displacing minority groups for jobs, nor do we talk about an unfair immigration policy where those people from Haiti are sent home and those people who walk across the border are allowed to stay.”
Bob Woodson, former president of the Center for Neighborhood Enterprise and non staff member at The Heritage Foundation:
“I didn’t hear poor people mentioned at all very much [on Saturday]. It was the environmentalists, women, gays, and immigrants. Everybody except poor people. The next frontier for me in the civil rights movement, is what are we doing for the least of gods children? Everybody has come in front of them on the bus: gays, immigrants, women, environmentalists. We never hear about the conditions confronting poor blacks and poor people in general.
Yes, Woodson, a Republican actually had the nerve to “go there” at a high end catered GOP Luncheon where most if not all in the room are responsible for making conditions worse for low income black Americans and suppressing their voting rights just to be a bigot.
April 21 1981 – In Toronto six people, including activists George Hislop and Peter Maloney and head of Club Bath chain in United States, Jack Campbell are charged with conspiracy to live off avails of crime. All three were listed as owners of the Club Baths Toronto. These were the final charges following the infamous February 5, 1981 bathhouse raids named laughingly by Metropolitan Toronto Police as Operation Soap place on February 5, 1981 where over 300 gay bathhouse patrons were arrested.
The event marked a major turning point in the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in Canada; the raids and their aftermath are today widely considered to be the Canadian equivalent of the 1969 Stonewall riots in New York City Mass protests and rallies were held denouncing the incident. These evolved into Toronto’s current Pride Week, which is now one of the world’s largest gay pride festivals 2010.
Almost all the charges against the 300+ men charges including Hislop, Maloney and Campbel are later dropped in court and the Toronto Metro Police become a laughingstock.
April 22
April 22, 1766 – Madame De Stael is born near Paris. Older editions of the Encyclopedia Britannica only describe her life as being “unconventional”. In truth, she was an active bisexual. Born Anne Louise Germaine Necker she seduced and lived for 19 years with Juliette Recamier the most celebrated beauty of her time. Upon Recamier’s death, De Stael wrote “I love you with a love that surpasses that of friendship…were I to embrace you with all that remains of me.”
Celebrated for her conversational eloquence, she participated actively in the political and intellectual life of her times. Her works, both critical and fictional, made their mark on the history of European Romanticism.
April 22, 2012 – Jack Denton Reese, a gay Mormon teen commits suicide in Mountain Green, Utah. He was 17 years old. According to Jack’s boyfriend, Alex Smith, Jack was bullied at school. On April 23, Alex, who didn’t know yet that his boyfriend had taken his life, spoke at a panel about the bullying Jack experienced. The panel was held in connection with the screening of the documentary film, “Bullied.”
April 23
April 23, 1791 – James Buchanan is born near Mercerburg, Pennsylvania. The 15th president of the United States was the only bachelor to serve in that office. His closest friend, Senator William Rufus De Vane King was called “Miss Nancy” by his detractors, making the President “Mr Nancy.”
April 23rd, 1990 – The Hate Crimes Statistic Act is signed into law by President George H.W. Bush. It is the first U.S. bill to use the phrase “sexual orientation.”
“We must work together to build an America of opportunity, where every American is free finally from discrimination. And I will use this noble office, this bully pulpit, if you will, to speak out against hate and discrimination everywhere it exists.”
Eight years later his sons Presidential administration will become one of the most anti-gay in United States recorded history.
April 24
April 24, 1858 – Dame Ethel Smyth is born in Surrey, England. A composer, writer, and feminist Smyth wrote seven torrid volumes of explicit memoirs. Smyth was something of a female Don Juan. She particularly enjoyed seducing the wives of men who had wanted to sleep with her.
Smyth was affectionately caricatured in E.F. Benson”s Dodo novels and mocked by Virginia Woolf. In 1910, Smyth met Emmaline Pankhurst, the founder of the British women’s suffrage movement and head of the militant and extremely well-organized Women’s Social and Political Union. Struck by Mrs. Pankhurst’s mesmerizing public speeches, Smyth pledged to give up music for two years and devote herself to the cause of votes for women.
In London in 1912: over 100 arrested suffragists, including Ethel Smyth, who had smashed windows of suffrage opponents’ homes in well-coordinated simultaneous incidents all over London, were arrested, tried, and sentenced to two months’ imprisonment. Ethel Smyth found her time in Halloway Prison an “exalting” experience of communal determination and sacrifice by women of all ages and classes. One day, while the prisoners were taking their outdoor
exercise, Ethel Smyth appeared at a window overlooking the prison yard, and conducted their singing of the suffrage battle anthem by waving her toothbrush.
April 25
April 25, 1284 – King Edward II is born in Caernavon Wales. Ancient Christianity had tolerated homosexuality (In the 12th century the king of France elevated his lover to high office) but by the mid 13th century live was harder on gays and Edward was made an example. His first lover Piers Gaveston ended in Gaveston’s murder by courtiers. His second affair, with Hugh le Despenser, ended with the Barons arresting them, imprisoning and them. Le Despenser had his genitals cut off and burned in front of him. He was then beheaded. Edward was murdered by having a red-hot poker inserted in his anus.
April 25th, 1978 – St. Paul, Minnesota votes to repeal its four-year old gay-rights ordinance by a margin of 2-1. Mary Richards was not happy.
April 25th,1979 – Jury selection begins in the trial of Dan White for the murder of S.F. Mayor George Moscone and gay activist Supervisor Harvey Milk. In a controversial verdict that led to the coining of the legal slang “Twinkie defense,” White was convicted of manslaughter rather than murder in the deaths of Milk and Moscone. White served five years of a seven-year prison sentence. Less than two years after his release, he returned to San Francisco and committed suicide. San Francisco Weekly has referred to White as “perhaps the most hated man in San Francisco’s history.”
April 25th,1993 – The third March on Washington happened and has an estimated attendance one million people. Although gays in the military was the major issue of that march it also marked the first time that same-sex marriage gained some notice, as well. On the day before the march, the Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, married 2,000 gay couples in a ceremony on the steps of the Internal Revenue Service building. Although the event was largely obscured by the march itself, for those who participated it was a transforming occasion.
“I remember going down to escalators to catch the Metro to the IRS,” recalls Aleta Fenceroy of Omaha, who married her partner Jean Mayberry at that ceremony, “and the whole subway tunnel burst out with people singing ‘Going to the Chapel.’ It was one of those moments that still gives me goose bumps when I think of it.” Later that day, she and Mayberry walked around Dupont Circle with wreaths of flowers in their hair, receiving the congratulations of strangers.
April 25th, 1995 – Lawrence, Kansas passes an ordinance prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. The law, the culmination of a 7-year struggle, is the only one of its type in the state of Kansas.
Accompanied by her “Georgia Band,” which included such jazz greats as Louis Armstrong, Thomas Dorsey, and Coleman Hawkins, she belted out song after song with titles like “Rough and Tumble Blues,” “Jealous Hearted Blues,” and “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Blues.”
In spite of her marriage to “Pa,” Rainey she made no secret of her relationships with women. Indeed, her famous “Prove it on Me Blues,” recorded in 1928, sounds more like the testimony of a lesbian than a bisexual:
“Went out last night with a crowd of my friends, They must have been women, ’cause I don’t like no men. Wear my clothes just like a fan, Talk to gals just like any old man ‘Cause they say I do it, ain’t nobody caught me, Sure got to prove it on me”
April 27
April 27. 1951 – Luis Zapata, Mexico’s most productive and successful gay writer is born. Zapata studied French literature at the National Autonomous University of Mexico. In his best-known work, Las aventuras, desaventuras y sueños de Adonis García, el vampiro de la colonia Roma (1979; Adonis García: A Picaresque Novel), he chronicled the lives of urban homosexuals. His other works include Hasta en las mejores familias (1975; “Even in the Best Families”), De pétalos perennes (1981; “Of Perennial Petals”), De amor es mi negra pena (1983; “Of Love That Is My Hell”),
