Kentucky GOP Tea Party state Rep. Joe Fischer (Ft. Thomas) has filed the “Matrimonial Freedom Act” (HB 572) a ridiculously long 454-page bill that literally rewrites every section of Kentucky state law that references marriage. The goal is to redefine marriage in KY by while not excluding LGBT people from the institution of marriage, but by creating a whole new level of marriage called “matrimony” that only legally applies to married heterosexual couples will all the rights and benefits while giving gay “marriage” none.

Arguing that the Supreme Court created an “absolute Tyranny over these States,” the bill says, “we have full power to define marriage and to establish a new institution of matrimony in this Commonwealth.”

As used and recognized in the law of the Commonwealth, “matrimony” refers only to the civil status, condition, or relation of one male human being (“husband”) and one female human being (“wife”) united in law for life, for the discharge to each other and the community of the duties legally incumbent upon those whose association is founded on the distinction of sex.

The bill adds, “with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”

I love the smell of cra-cra desperation in the morning.