Tag Archives: Immigration Reform Bill

DOMA & Prop 8 Struck Down, But The Fight Is Not Over

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gay equality rings

What a monumental day in our nation’s history to finally see the wheels of change honor the integrity of freedom. To come closer than ever in making the words written by our forefathers centuries ago guaranteeing of all of us being treated equally. I am beyond ecstatic about today’s ruling. It means a great deal to me to see the joy and love between two people that have built a life together and fought so hard to have the same rights as straight couples finally be afforded the same right. As of today, 13 states have full and equal marriage.  To see so many couples today celebrate and look at each other with joy in knowing they won’t have to leave this country in order to share their lives with each other.

The warmth my heart felt knowing the beautiful love and union between Edith Windsor and her wife Thea Spyer, was legal, was recognized and it had given validation to a woman that kept the love of her departed so close to her heart. So much that it brings tears to my eyes with joy to think this woman has inspired us to stand and fight when we have been treated unfairly.

But I did not feel it as much as I wanted to. A part of me held back and tried to reconcile the tension I still felt with the historic moment in LGBT history.  And I knew after a few moments what it was. “We are not finished yet. We haven’t even begun to fight.” Maybe that’s why my mood became muted. Because the Supreme Court did not rule completely in our favor as I’d hoped, even with how unlikely that outcome. It made me feel like an outsider because I was holding back on celebrating with passion so many of my friends were exuding. 

And then I was angry. Angry at myself because despite the fact that it was not a sweeping victory it was all the same a monumental step forward so I felt this emotion was taking away from the joyous occasion that so many in this community are celebrating. It was giving me a migraine because that phrase kept coming to mind. So I laid down to calm my thoughts and asked why I felt this way. But my feelings were grounded in truth.

Is it because I know that in the remaining 37 states in this country, including my home state of Tennessee has a very long, hard battle ahead now that it is truly up to the states to decide the rights of millions of Americans. That the couples living here in the rural south that have worked their entire lives and entered long-term relationships for decades still do not have those federal rights that the New Colony states now have. Can still be denied the legal right to call the love of their life their husband or wife.

Or that as an African American it will be an even harder battle because of the Supreme Court’s decision to remove some provisions from the VRA. Some believe this means that states like Tennessee can rezone voting populations of any minority or pose extremely stringent regulations to keep other ethnic minorities from voting altogether to scheme and potentially win elections. To also deny us our right to marry. Who’s to say that this tactic wouldn’t be used against heavily populated LGBT areas to further prevent marriage equality in other states? All because enough justices felt that we live in a post racial society. I would say the family of Trayvon Martin greatly disagrees with that sentiment.

Neither I nor any other LGBT citizen of this country should have to move in order to have the same rights and if the deplorable actions of the GOP state senators from Texas last night are any indication of a time table of when all states will see marriage equality may be another generation. Or more. If we stay complacent.  So that means that there would be another Edith Windsor, this time from the south would have to endure the same pain of having to fight the government in order for her rights as a citizen to be honored.

And that’s why we have to fight now. That’s why we can’t just celebrate and get to work tomorrow on today’s problem. Because each moment we wait is still a moment too long someone is being denied the freedom to love and share their life with someone. We cannot wait and stop to just celebrate this victory. As we are gathering in bars and rooftop parties and in the streets tonight we need to also be discussing how we move forward because we have so much more work to do.

This doesn’t only pertain to marriage equality. We as a community are being denied more rights that affect our livelihood. We still can be fired for being LGBT in over half of the states in this country. So the decision of the Supreme Court today should give us more wind in our sails not tell us to dock safely at shore and sail another day.

Our persistence has begun to pay off and we are at the allegorical light where we make new beginnings. But we are still in that tunnel. Our journey for true and full equality has not ended. It has only gained momentum. It made me resentful towards the leaders in this community that decided to focus only on marriage equality and completely ignored the other rights that are just as important to our way of life. So we can celebrate our victory tonight but at the same time cannot afford to forget even for a moment how much more work needs to be done. 

I felt enormous guilt for my thoughts because again it appeared like I was taking a poignant moment away from those who also deserve it. But I should have no shame in how I feel because we are not done yet because we ALL deserve it. We all deserve the same rights and we all still face more foul, underhanded scare tactics that pretend to be the word of God from the mouths of man and tell us how to live our lives. So until we have completely won we must be willing to fight for ALL our rights.

So I ask everyone that had their marriage fully recognized to continue to fight. I know many have spoken the same words that I am writing today in how necessary it is for us to fight and have vowed to keep fighting.  But we ALL must be a part of the solution so there is no longer room for complacency on our part. That means organizations like HRC and GLAAD need to implement more advocacy not just in marriage equality, but ALL other rights we are being denied. Remember that these organizations that are celebrating right now were the same ones that were too afraid to even bring these cases up for the Supreme Court. We are in the middle of it so we can no longer tiptoe around the issues. The GOP is not wasting any time already looking for ways to overturn today’s decision, so we can’t waste time either. 

To those couples that don’t have to leave the country to continue to fight because we still need your help for states like Florida, Texas, and Arizona that have higher populations of binational LGBT couples hoping they don’t have to move or even worse separate. Hold on to that joy and use it to help initiate equality so that no other family has to endure what you’ve gone through.

Our fight for equality is not over. We cannot rest until we are all equal.

GLAAD, What Else Are You Doing Other Than Selling T-Shirts? Same Question For You HRC

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gay queer

The title is harsh but it is an honest question. Too often I feel that the LGBT community is nowhere near as united as it used to be or like it should be now. When we talk about the various issues within a community I feel that the problem starts with the most visible. The ones that are given a platform to be the voice of us and our concerns. In this case that would be both GLAAD and HRC. Still with all the issues I have with these organizations I know that they are successfully doing more than selling really cool shirts.

I’ll start off by saying that I feel these organizations are about more than selling shirts and having lavish parties with celebs. I love a great party just like the next gay. And they have done some great work with suicide prevention and made great efforts to end bullying. That work does help save lives and I am always thankful for any measure that saves live and look forward to seeing their techniques advance for the next generation of LGBT people.

But all my praise for these organizations stops there. Any other problems that affect our community are either met with endless delays, fall by the wayside or completely forgotten. Efforts only become about parties and advancing the rights of some members of this community instead of all members.  This train of thought entered my mind again tonight as I was about to do a quick summary about GLAAD teaming up with American Apparel and how this is a great step in giving this community visibility but I’m not too sure I feel that way about it now. I love the simplicity in the shirts and applaud the efforts made by American Apparel but GLAAD’s association with this leaves me with more questions than answers.

Not to be pessimistic but before reading the article my first thoughts were what exactly will GLAAD be doing with the proceeds? Are they donating it to a cause or is this purely for profit? Will they use transgendered men and women in their campaigns? Will all models be a size 28 with chiseled jaws and perfect abs? Kind of sad that those were the first questions that popped into my head when I read about GLAAD’s involvement. But it’s not like those thoughts and concerns aren’t coming from a history that has not been that favorable for them in terms of truly representing this community. Both organizations have done some questionable things in recent years.

I also began to think about how this upcoming week can be a huge week in advancing equality for our community and our society as a whole and if the Supreme Court rules in our favor we will be the closest to being truly recognized as citizens in this country in the eyes of the law.  We are on the cusp of great change within our society, regardless of what the decision the Supreme Court makes this week but somehow it does not feel like a united, uniformed effort. The time is now to work on the issues going on within this community that you and other pompous leader’s parade around saying you know diversity when you clearly don’t. The reason we are stronger as a community is because people are speaking out and standing up no matter what.

Just this year GLAAD named Brett Ratner Ally of the Year for doing a modicum of work. This is was only a year after he was in hot water for using gay slurs during a rehearsal. Think someone was probably more deserving than someone that threw some of his celebrity friends in a video to promote equality. Don’t get me wrong the efforts he made since his comments were admirable as it helped bring more recognition to this community but still not enough for an award many were more deserving of at the time.

It took GLAAD until this year to add transgendered men and women to their official mission statement. My only question is why did it take so long to do this? What possible explanation is there that provides a real authentic answer and not a bunch of red tape and colorful jargon to deter us from recognizing this exclusion.

My point is that one of the biggest problems with organizations like GLAAD and HRC is in how they choose to represent this community. There is little to no diversity in terms of race/ethnicity. Even less lesbian and bisexual representation. And virtually no representation of transgendered at all (unless they are again accused of discriminating against them by not allowing transgendered members in LGBT rallies like they were accused of during the Supreme Court DOMA/Prop 8 hearings). We are tired GLAAD (and HRC as well) of you saying that you are going to do more to show how diverse we truly are but you keep agreeing to ads like this which is the same, nearly monotone aka safe advertising and it has to stop. Is it that hard to have a team of people within your organizations that are willing to do actual research into the real issues of this community or am I and the other concerned members of this community talking to thin air?

I often think about the time of Harvey Milk and how I wish we were seeing the same passionate multifaceted approach of his generation but we are anything other than the successors of this great man. He truly stood for the differences among all of us and it often feels that these organizations don’t. Let’s not forget that in 1995 HRC were perfectly willing to exclude transgender men and women in order to have ENDA passed. So yes this community has a history of struggling to be united when fighting for equal rights. Some may argue that it is the past, but the past sets precedent and when no mass collective effort has been shown to include all members, how else are the rest of us supposed to feel?

Why is it that you and HRC are not working on a more visible campaign for ENDA (Employee Non Discrimination Act)? Why is it barely mentioned and only given a few paragraphs and the only time that you may bring it up is when there is an LGBT member. Why aren’t these organizations using their grand platform to speak to the community to reach out to Senate Democrats who keep stalling out on progressing ENDA through Congress? How much longer will we have to wait before we ensure LGBT members of this country have federal protections against discrimination instead of endless parties, fundraisers where it isn’t made clear where the money is going, and awards to undeserving people? Both groups said virtually nothing during the Immigration Reform Bill as well that excluded LGBT members from receiving the same benefits.

My words are harsh and blunt, but it’s what you need to hear. Maybe I am being so forward because I am waiting with as much anticipation about what this week could mean for us a community and it has me thinking of what else needs to be done that has not been done yet. I know both organizations have done some great work in promoting change and fighting for equality. But we need to do just as much work, if not more within the community. We need to work on these issues now and that starts with talking about them openly and honestly.

If you continually make members of this community who are not gay Caucasian males not feel welcomed or a part of this community then it’s reasonable to be at the very least frustrated with how these organizations operate. Whatever the decision is next week know that we all have so much more to do. We have to do more. So let’s start now.