In a sign of these strange times, the city Health Department has issued a stunningly blunt memo on how to stay clean while doing the dirty during the global coronavirus pandemic. First and foremost on its two-page list of tips: sex is safest with oneself.
“Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after,” the department wrote.
Good news, though, “COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid,” the notice says. If you do have sex with another human, make sure it is “with people close to you,” like someone you live with. If sex with strangers is your thing, the agency suggests “video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be options for you.”