Donald Trump once again skipped the Annual White House Correspondents Dinner (aka. Nerd Prom) which is lucky for him but bad for Sarah Huckabee Sanders who because of Trump’s absence became the main target of a particularly, wonderfully nasty performance, courtesy of a blistering, dare-ya-to-boo set by Daily Show correspondent and stand-up Michelle Wolf.
Wolf opened her act with the line: “Good evening, here we are at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner; like a porn star says when she’s about to have sex with Trump, let’s get this over with.”
Wolf refused to pull punches just because her target was scowling from a few feet away.
“We are graced with Sarah’s presence tonight. I have to say, I’m a little starstruck. I love you as Aunt Lydia in The Handmaid’s Tale. Every time Sarah steps up to the podium, I get excited, because I’m not really sure what we’re gonna get. you know, a press briefing, a bunch of lies, or divided into softball teams: ‘It’s shirts and skins, and this time don’t be such a little b*tch, Jim Acosta!’”
Pivot to Kellyanne Conway and Ivanka Trump:
“We should definitely talk about the women in the Trump administration. There’s Kellyanne Conway. Man, she has the perfect last name for what she does. Conway? It’s like if my name was Michelle Jokes Frizzy Hair Small Tits. You guys gotta stop putting Kellyanne on your shows. All she does is lie. If you don’t give her a platform she has nowhere to lie. It’s like that old saying, ‘If a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne under that tree?’ I’m not suggesting she gets hurt, just stuck.”
“And then there’s Ivanka, she was supposed to be helpful to women. But it turns out she’s about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons.“
“Ivanka Trump has done nothing to satisfy women. So, like father, like daughter.”
Wolf also took the opportunity to hold the press’ feet to the fire, too, joking at one point, “Fox News is here. Ladies, you know what that means: Cover your drinks,” and viciously describing Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski’s romantic relationship as being like “when a #MeToo works out.
The White House Correspondents’ Dinner ended with Michelle Wolf saying into the mic, “Flint still doesn’t have clean water.”