We drop friends all the time for a whole variety of reasons—they messed with our loves lives, they lied, they weren’t supportive—so why do some people think it’s such an outlandish idea to dump them for their political views? I think there’s a misguided sense that, “It’s a free country and people have the right to believe what they want. Why should I let their political opinions interfere with a long-running friendship?” The truth is, there is no law that “free speech” means you have to keep a friend who promotes the Republican agenda any more than you have to keep someone who calls you a cow. Everything in a friendship that might have seemed good suddenly goes sour when I learn that they advocate Trump and his hideousness, which involves attempting to diminish rights for women, LGBTQs, Muslims, immigrants, the arts, and the non-rich, not to mention all those treasonous-sounding doings with Russia. Am I supposed to understand that a gay friend is simply concerned about tax breaks and therefore can’t be bothered to devote any energy to little things like human rights? Bye, Felicia!
My time spent on social networks has been way more gratifying since I decided to block anyone who’s tried to crawl out from under a rock and chirp about how Trump isn’t really bad to LGBTQs at all. (“After all, everyone said we’d be in death camps, and we’re not” is a typically lame-brained argument). You can’t control what happens to you in the real world—someone might yell epithets at you or maybe throw paint—but the great thing about your Facebook page is the ability if affords you to weed your garden and make it your own personal playground. You don’t have to tolerate bullshit. Naturally, trying to talk sense to these people is a valuable route to go—why not try to have a conversation?—except that more often than not, you’ll find that they’ve already imbibed the Kool-Aid and aren’t going to budge from their throne of denial, no matter what facts you lay at their feet. As Pride month went by without a mention from the White House—to name just one of many indignities aimed our way—the army of gays who were still willing to cut Trump some slack was appalling to me, and I now don’t have to worry about indulging their head-in the-sand points of view any more than I’ll be inviting Milo over to a non-toxic dinner any time soon. (Yes, we’re all just preaching to the converted on my pages these days, but hey, it feels good. I’ll take our fake news over their fake news any day).
Similarly, if a real-life friend—someone who knows my plight, my accomplishments, and my oppressions—decides to trumpet in my face the alleged glories of the Republican party, I simply have to show them the hand and the door. Friendship over. I don’t care if they once helped me into an uber or maybe clicked on my links a couple of times. I don’t give a shit that they sent me birthday wishes on Facebook and also treated me to a half priced burrito for Christmas. They are as over to me as a boyfriend who cheated with someone I was cheating with. I have no use for them and would find it more than strained to attempt exchanging friendly banter with them, knowing full well that they’re basically self-loathing climbers who are furthering the mistreatment of mankind with their empty headed emissions. Am I cutting myself off from meaningful discourse? I don’t believe so; I feel I’m short circuiting the chance to hear odious apologias and offensive attempts at spin. Dropping Repubs (especially gay Repubs) from my guest list is a complete no brainer, which makes my life more aromatic while also sending out the message that self-loathing isn’t going to be tolerated around here, fellas. – Michael Musto in Out Magazine:
HomoCONS are what happens when self-interest combines with self-loathing and outweighs self-respect.