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“Dear Abby” Helps Gay Son Deal With Parents Who Are In Denial

Dear Abby


For those of you who don’t know Dear Abby is the name of the advice column founded in 1956 by Pauline Phillips under the pen name “Abigail Van Buren” and carried on today by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, who now owns the legal rights to the pen name.

Both Pauline and Jeanne have never shied away from letters with Gay content and have been helpful and staunch supporters of the gay community.

Today “Dear Abby” gave advice to a college student who’s parents refuse to accept the fact that he is gay and points the boy to some helpful organizations.

Dear Abby: I’m a gay male college student who is out and comfortable with who I am 99 percent of the time. When I was in high school, I tried to come out to my parents and it didn’t go smoothly. They had an emotional crisis for a day, then shrugged it off as “just another teenage phase.” After the panic mode was over, they bought me off with an expensive car and continued believing I’m straight. I make no attempt to hide who I am because I expect to be treated the same, regardless. But it’s awkward whenever I am asked by either parent, “Do you have a girlfriend?” or, “How are you doing with the ladies?” Do you have any advice on what I should say in response, given my parents’ emotional reaction? — IT’S Who I Am In California

Abby: It is obvious that your parents are in denial. If you haven’t told them again about your sexual orientation, you should. If you are unable to summon up the words to tell them what they are waiting for isn’t going to happen, then contact PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays — pflag.org), not only for your own sake, but also for theirs. In light of your parents’ reaction the last time you leveled with them, they may need emotional support to accept that you are gay, and PFLAG can provide it.

If anyone needs it here is the link for PFLAG. They are here to help.


Will Kohler

Will Kohler is one of America's best known LGBT historians, He is also a a accredited journalist and the owner of Back2Stonewall.com. A longtime gay activist Will fought on the front lines of the AIDS epidemic with ACT-UP and continues fighting today for LGBT acceptance and full equality. Will’s work has been referenced on such notable media venues as BBC News, CNN, MSNBC, The Washington Post, The Daily Wall Street Journal, Hollywood Reporter, and Raw Story. Back2Stonewall has been recently added to the Library of Congress' LGBTQ+ Studies Web Archive. Mr. Kohler is available for comment, interviews and lectures on LGBT History. Contact: Will@Back2Stonewall.com

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