Michele Bachmann Wants To Ban Halloween To Stop Children From Sucking On Satan’s Candy

Michele Bachman wicked witch

Michele (Batshit Crazy) Bachmann, Republican Congressional Representative to Minnesota and founder of the Tea Party Caucus, is at it again. This time she is calling for a ban on Halloween

“This holiday is based in Satanism. It’s a Pagan ritual to worship Satan and call him forth to the earth and the liberal elites have added socialism to it. We are in the end days and we must purify our nation if we are to be welcomed into the kingdom of God.

We have to ban Halloween to save the children. That’s how they indoctrinate them you know. Giving them Satan’s candy sacks. Soon you’ve got a country full of children sucking on Satan’s sacks and thinking liberal thoughts instead of good Christian ones.

From the Free Wood Post (Yes the Free Wood Press is a satire website, but if you didn’t know that and  Bachman is so fracking crazy, you probably believe that this story is true.) 


4 thoughts on “Michele Bachmann Wants To Ban Halloween To Stop Children From Sucking On Satan’s Candy

  1. Probably she sucked too much on Jesus’s candystick!
    And most certainly licked to much brownies from the holes were the sun never shines of the religious terrorists she’s sucking up to!

  2. Is there any way to ban her from all web sites, newspapers and electronic media? It would be great if satin could do that. What is taking the justice department to indite her for election fraud? Anyway you look at it she will be out of office in a year…hopefully forever.
    Please sir, stop writing about this witch. She makes my skin crawl.

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