The original Friars Club Roasts began in 1950 and were first televised in the late 1960s, The roasts themselves were a testimony to the talent of a certain guest by a jury of his entertainment peers taking their comedic barbs at a guest of honor.
Last night Comedy Central presented and taped the roast of James Franco and yes you guessed it, the gay jokes flew through the room like a twinkie at a 50 percent off Abercrombie and Fitch sale.
The only problem is that most of them just weren’t funny.
Here are just a few.
Jonah Hill: “He’s like our generation’s Johnny Depp, if Johnny Depp was a worse actor who blew guys.”
Jeff Ross (on the missed opportunity with Milk and 127 Hours): “[They should’ve been] one epic movie where you get your dick stuck in Sean Penn’s asshole for five days.”
Seth Rogen: ”Every guy wants to be him and he wants to be in every guy.”
Andy Samberg: “James Franco has force fed me so much dick, you could make foie gras out of my liver.”
The few respites from the “gay attack jokes came in the form of Sarah Silverman who of all people and Aziz Ansari who took a gentler approach at Franco and zinged back at the other roasters.
Sarah Silverman: “I don’t think James is gay or straight. It’s just that he literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s fucking.”
Sarah Silverman: “Jonah actually gained 50 pounds for his role in the new Martin Scorsese film because the producers wanted the character to be a Jonah Hill type. But seriously you’ve had such a body transformation in the past couple of years. You have come a long way from just being Sonny and Cher’s daughter.”
Aziz Ansari: “So many gay jokes tonight about Franco. Apparently if you’re clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you’re super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face?
”Crass, unfunny and offensive? Well that is for you to decide. But the bad gay jokes aren’t really all that surprising since they are from these self-styled comedians and hactors who are also not funny. Seth Rogen? Jonah Hill? Jeff Ross? Pleeeease.
But no matter what they say we love our James Franco. Now if he’d just call us and come over to make some foie gras.
*The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco when airs September 2 at 10 pm on Comedy Central.