What Not To Say In Interracial Gay Dating Situations


Sly Merritt has a BA in psychology/sociology. MA in clinical psychology. He's a flip flop wearing hippy with a peaceloving mindset. Even pacifists like him know when it's time to do all we can for LGBTQ equality. Sly's views are all opinions not advice.

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5 Responses

  1. Jim Kane says:

    “Seem like one of the good blacks that speak well”, isn’t that sentence a bit awkward if not grammatically incorrect? Or is it just bad english?

  2. Interesting article….. and informative too!
    Having said that (and yes, there’s more, as I am not known for short comments (GRINNING)), I take the liberty to disagree (on some points…).

    Rude comments and questions are just that… rude, and should be frowned upon, and a person making such comments or puts forward such questions should in my opinion be either corrected or be ignored (by turning one’s back on such a person (which then could be construed as rude too…..)), but what is rude?
    Traveling a lot, encountering people from a lot of different cultures and with different backgrounds, I feel that when one meets interesting people, or people of interest, one often if not always is not sure how to approach or react to remarks, opinions, gestures, or even an facial expression.
    Informing a person of the fact that one doesn’t know one’s culture, that one is meeting him or her for the first time, can be preventing embarrassment on either side or part……

    Allow me to given example…..
    The other day I met a guy, he was simply beautiful….. great eyes, great body, nice hands, (no further details because I then would possibly be guilty of turning this blog into a sort of pornographic description, all I do say is that the guy caused me to react physically…).
    I knew he was of arab origin, originating from a country were it is not common practice between males to show affection. I was unsure as to how to make it clear to him that I thought he was (in my opinion at least) beautiful, as I knew that when making it openly clear I would cross borders of culture. It was then that I decided to tell him out-front that I was unsure about that fact, and that it was the difference in culture that made me doubt letting him know that I thought him to be great……
    What he said was contrare to what the article says… he said that were cultures differ honesty is important to bridge the differences!
    In other words, were one is out with a person of another culture for the first time, if can be enlightening for both parties to know that fact… and to honestly tell the other that there are differences, and that by letting each other know what they are, those differences can be (and often are) overcome, instead remaining between each other……
    I must add that this great guy and I did not meet in a western country, we met in Turkey.

    What I am trying to say is that differences in culture and background better be talked on and about openly then keep it silent and then have them remaining between each other……

    Making sense here?

  3. Will Cleere says:

    Just a reminder, though it may not happen as often:
    I am a Caucasian Southerner. I have had the same kind of thing happen to
    me ( in ” reverse “); because of the Southern stereotype. I find masculine black men most attractive. Last week I sent a “hello” to a very handsome black man on a dating website. He replied with several cutting remarks relating that since he had moved to the South, that he was sick of white men trying to converse with him. He was sure , somehow, that all white Southerners were trying to make up for slavery by trying to date black men. He went on to relate that even Unattractive white men here felt that they were doing back men a favor by dating them.

    That was over a week ago, and I am still not “ok” with being tossed into this imagined category of men.

    My first crush in Jr. High was a black athlete, the man I love now is loved because he is handsome, brilliant, kind, cultured, masculine, and fun. I don’t love him because I’m trying to make up for the fact that some of my ancestors 5 generations ago had slaves….that kind of reasoning is lost on me. Loving a black person can’t go back and free the enslaved ones, nor can it punish the ones that held them in bondage.

    I do not understand why most people just can’t let go Angie get on with life. Love me or not… But don’t base your feelings about me on what you think you know about who I’m supposed to be according to what you’ve heard or been taught.

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to rave on so!

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