A haughty radio host from Atlanta is making broad claims about the nature of homosexuality in a recent taping of his radio show. Tommy Sotomayor is claiming that being gay is the result of bad parenting from single African American mothers. Its presumed that Sotomayor feels that the lack of an “alpha male” of the family leaves us unable to know what do so we follow the inferred gender roles of our mother. Here’s more:
Tommy Sotomayor, an Atlanta-based radio host and YouTuber recently took to hisYouTube account and made shocking accusations about black women, young gay men and the black community.
As Clutch Magazine points out, Sotomayor used the video and the teenage boys as an example to blame single black women for young gay men and to state that black women have failed.
“I want to say this before I start off: I have no problem with a person’s sεxual orientation or a person’s want or need for sεxual experimentation,” he said. “Now with that said, these boys are the reason why we need to stop claiming that black children don’t need their fathers.”
He then added that single black mothers oftentimes take credit for rearing noteworthy children, but they blame absent fathers when the children experience challenges. He also goes on to claim that the black race has become androgynous and claimed that black women have failed.
“The black race looks like the 80s,” he said. “You don’t know who is what. The women look like men, the men look like women.
I’m not going to make a lot of exposition into the etiology that Sotomayor so adamantly believes to be true. It’s ridiculous. I won’t make arguments about how wrong he is on his information because we already know that research and LGBT families prove this asinine assumption wrong every single day. And the fact that not only is this rant homophobic its also misogynistic, chauvinistic, and well…just plain stupid. Never mind the fact he places blame only on the mother, when it takes two people to make a child. That means that a child is the responsibility of BOTH parents. Sounds like that you do have a problem with gay men. And women in general.
This is 2013 last time I checked Sotomayor, so can we leave these archaic notions of what is a woman’s job when it comes to family and realize that both parents play a role, even when one of them is not present in the child’s life. Sometimes it is not always possible for one parent, or sometimes either parent to be a part of the child’s life. Are we to give up on those children automatically because of that?
Being from a marginalized race/ethnic minority in this country is one of the best examples that we do not often, if ever fit into the mold or stereotypes deemed by the rest of society. Where too often some of us growing up were told we could only go so high or that because of the color of our skin that we should lower our expectations in reaching long-term goals and suppress our dreams.
What a child needs most of all is unwavering love and support. For even though my stepfather has been a part of my entire life and who has supported and loved me since I was an infant, I did not learn how to be a man from him. I learned that from my mother. I learned compassion and strength and how to be there for people I care about. How to give back to the community and how to be humble without backing down or compromising my beliefs. And most of all how to love unabashed and accept the differences of others.
But what bothers me most is how Sotomayor’s comments imply that there is something wrong with being gay. And that is the result of nurture and not nature. Whatever the issue with the people he was trying (and failing) to address with men looking like women shouldn’t matter. So what if he wants to wear six inch heels and dressed to the Gods? As long as that person is happy, what does it take from anyone else? Nothing.
So what if black people are becoming more androgynous. That means instead of laying all the blame on one gender or the other, that both of them will be seen as responsible. Maybe if we were all androgynous it would mean women would get equal pay too. Or that a bunch of men will stop telling women what they can and can’t do with their bodies. I mean, think about if we stopped being judged on race? Exactly. Think outside the box, if you can, Sotomayor.