Beards, Bisexuals, & Busybodies: The Schematics Of Staying In The Closet


Sly Merritt has a BA in psychology/sociology. MA in clinical psychology. He's a flip flop wearing hippy with a peaceloving mindset. Even pacifists like him know when it's time to do all we can for LGBTQ equality. Sly's views are all opinions not advice.

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3 Responses

  1. LiberalLarry says:

    I find her comments confusing since she has bigger hands than me,broader shoulders than me and a bigger Adams apple than me.Exactly what do does she have taped between her ass cheeks because I think she makes an adorable drag queen

  2. Wonderful article, really nailed the subject, from every vantage point. Thanks much!

    I wonder if people realize that those of us who struggled in the closet, battling our homosexuality, weren’t necessarily deceiving the women whom we were dating. For a very long time, I genuinely believed that I would make it work with a woman, that I would overcome my strong same-sex urges and marry and have children. If, buried deep in my sub-conscious, I knew this would never happen, on the surface I nonetheless believed it would.

    Until someone has experienced the emotional brutality of the closet, it’s hard to understand just what we are going through when trapped within.

    That’s not to say that the women whom I hurt don’t deserve the utmost sympathy; they most assuredly do. And for what it’s worth, I am now good friends with a couple of these women (in fact, I am, I fear, a cliche — their GBF).

    There are no winners when someone is in the closet.

    Again, thanks for your article. beautifully put together.

  3. Lynxie says:

    That is soooo many shades of fucked up…

    Sounds like Wendy really needs to do her homework in this regard, like reading about those who have come out of the closet, and/or talking to people who have, especially older people. I only say it that way because in many ways it is easier coming out now, then it was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. And so even though there are still those who get kicked out, or bullied (Thank the Gods for places like the Ruth Ellis Center in Detroit, Michigan! And no that was not a plug:)) generally it is easier now.

    She is also implying that these men/people (Because many women have done the same thing.) are callous or otherwise uncaring about their spouse. That they got into the relationship for selfish reasons.

    Yeah, I did catch on the possibility that she was imagining herself in the situation, and empathizing with the woman, which is what many people would do…

    But you know, sensationalizing (Any part of that, not just sensationalizing LGBT peoples that have come out.) turns my stomach.I also believe that it does just as much harm as if she were deliberately insulting people, particularly if it is perpetuating stereotypes. (Like the part the wife should of known, somehow, implying that she should of seen it. How?! The majority of Gay Men I’ve met particularly those who have been/are in marriages with women act very normal,(Whatever the bleep that word means.) And they’ve had to act as normal as possible throughout their marriage, too.

    And while I never really thought of watching/listening to her before, I certainly have NO interest in doing so now.

What do you think?