Today in the “Where do I apply for this job?” department.

The St. Petersburg Times is reporting that The Russian Defense Ministry has come up with a new plan  for searching out gay soldiers which includes a directive to inspect firm russian soilders asses and peens  for “gay tattoos.”

Special attention is recommended for tattoos near the face, sexual organs and buttocks, as the author believes that such tattoos reveal possible sexual deviations. “The reason for getting tattoos could indicate a low cultural or educational level. If an influence by external factors is determined, for example, persuasion or direct coercion, this indicates the malleability of the young man, his disposition to submit to another’s will,” the text says.

The guidelines also include a wide range of warning signs indicative of mental instability, including early sexual experience and ‘uncontrolled sexual behavior,’ both of which are included in the same category as alcohol abuse, running away from home, suicidal tendencies and theft. Officers acting as mentors to new recruits are advised to hold a personal conversation with the conscripts to ask about sexual experience and conduct a physical examination, paying special attention to any tattoos — but only after leading up to such intimate questions by asking about family, everyday life, success in school and attitudes toward alcohol.

Falcon Video porn parody of this story in 3…2…1…