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You Are Here: Home » This, That, and Other Stuff » WOOF! What I Want Santa To Bring Me Next Year

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I mesn come on Santa, I have been a very very good guy this year. And all I asked for to be put under my stocking was a hot guy to do whatever I want to with. And what do I get? Money and gift cards. What the hell Santa?! Wine may taste good and all but it’s not going to keep me warm at night. I CAN’T SLEEP WITH MONEY SANTA. So keep these guys in mind for next year, okay?!

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I need this man to help me lift my stockings and pin some things against..I mean on the wall.

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Why does everyone else get a hot muscled ginger Santa when I get an Apple Gift Store Card? I can’t play connect the freckles with my tongue on a plastic card Santa. Step up your game Claus!!!!

 

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All I want is someone that can assume my favorite positions…in the kitchen…to help me cook Santa. It’s not that hard.

 

tumblr_mdpp5hC1Zv1qeo87yo1_500A person to give me smoldering hot looks from across the room  that’s just bulging…for conversation of course! Get your mind out of the gutter Santa.

 

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Someone that will let me go hard and deep and can hold their breath as long as I can. Have to be a good swimmer.

 

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But mostly, he probably resembles Chris Pine.

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So please keep these in mind for next year Santa. YOU OWE ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the author

Sly Merritt has written 383 articles on this blog.

Sly Merritt has a BA in psychology/sociology. MA in clinical psychology. He's a flip flop wearing hippy with a peaceloving mindset. Even pacifists like him know when it's time to do all we can for LGBTQ equality. Sly's views are all opinions not advice.

1 Comment

  1. Robert says:

    I’ve been very bad this year, so send me Thor for punish me and Captain Kirk teach me how to really be a “BAD BOY”

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