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You Are Here: Home » Featured, Opinions and Rants » The “Chris Kluwe Effect” Jumps The Pond – UK Writer Snarks About “Choosing” To Be Gay

MN Viking’s Chris Kluwe has recently proved in the U.S.A.  that the pen is mightier than the sword and  sarcasm and parody can go along way in the helping to win LGBT Equality by creatively calling out the anti-gay brigade using words, creativity and intelligence.

Well the “Kluwe Effect” has jumped over the pond and in todays The Independent, handsome and gay writer  Andy West  writes this snarky tongue in cheek piece called: “Why should I be allowed to marry? I chose to be gay”

I remember the exact moment I chose to be gay. I was sitting at home contemplating my predictable life of automatic acceptance and uncomplicated social assimilation and procreation and I thought, ‘How dull.’ I whipped out my Manchester United biro from my Pamela Anderson pencil case and started brainstorming ways to inject some adversity into my future…. [snip]

I admit it was tough becoming gay at first. I had to stop playing football with my mates and I wasn’t allowed to walk normally any more. It took quite a while for me to get the mince right and it took months of studying Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served before I perfected the necessary lispy voice and drag-act mannerisms. I was only 13 so my moustache was wispy at best and my teachers told me that studded leather chaps and roller skates were not in keeping with school uniform. Besides, they clashed with my tie.

Yes, deciding to be gay was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I knew it would be worth it! I salivated at the thought of spending years wondering whether or not my friends and family would accept me. I shivered with excitement at the thought of fighting gangs of baying drunken lads outside gay pubs. And most of all, I couldn’t wait to spend my days annoying right-thinking people by demanding equality, in spite of my own selfish decision to be a homo. …[snip]

We are within sodomy distance of our ultimate goal. Within months our recruitment of new gay teenagers will be made easier. We will have adverts on television like the RAF!  ‘Boys and girls!’ It will declare. ‘Do as I did. Reject the easy route. Throw caution to the wind. Risk being ostracised and ridiculed. Make it hideously complicated and expensive to have a family. Invite persecution into your life. Boys forget about boobs they’re rubbish. Girls, look at boobs they’re lovely. Choose strife, Choose an adopted family, Choose a fucking big television to watch musicals on, choose your future, choose to be gay…Go on! It’ll really annoy everyone!’

No “Lustful Cockmonsters” or “Sparkleponies” but Mr. West does a right proper job of using snark and circumstance to prove his point.

Carry On Sergeant!

You can read Andy West’s entire article by CLICKING HERE

 

About the author

Will Kohler has written 6658 articles on this blog.

Will Kohler is a noted LGBT historian, writer, blogger and owner of Back2Stonewall.com. A longtime gay activist, Will fought on the front lines of the AIDS epidemic with ACT-UP and continues fighting today for LGBT acceptance and full equality. Will’s work has been referenced in notable media venues as MSNBC and BBC News, The Washington Post, The Advocate, The Daily Beast, Hollywood Reporter, Raw Story, and The Huffington Post

1 Comment

  1. Tom Janus says:

    Great post Will, he made the perfect point!

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