Are You A Gold Star Gay?


Sly Merritt has a BA in psychology/sociology. MA in clinical psychology. He's a flip flop wearing hippy with a peaceloving mindset. Even pacifists like him know when it's time to do all we can for LGBTQ equality. Sly's views are all opinions not advice.

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11 Responses

  1. I guess I am a gold star gay. I never knew there was a name for it. I have always joked that I am technically a virgin since I have never been with a women. I like god star gay. Sounds good.

    • Dreamer says:

      This was posted and I agree with Bob one thousand percent. Being a Gold Star Gay or Gold Star Lesbian does not make one better but it is helpful to know what they want for sure. I have heard the same comment from gay guys and lesbian girls, they feel blessed to have been true to themselves. Many straight people will try to convince you to try intercourse. Well should they have to try gay or lesbian sex? I am middle age, but look younger, as gay guys usually do. I used to think I will get married to a lady and then I will do it. I have dated some a long time. It really helped when the girl was a virgin and wanted to stay that way. Oral and other stuff was great, but absolutely no intercourse was the agreement.. But I am very glad for me purposely that I never had coitus (intercourse with a woman.) and I have no desire for it and did think I did before but I have no desire for that now. Gold stars have a type of innocence.. I remember reading Dear Abby advice to a reader who was lesbian. Abby told her she was still a virgin technically. One can be sexually experienced but have not had coitus and thus still be a virgin. Many straight people do every thing but intercourse and say they are virgins. Gold stars gays and lesbians are sexually experienced but blessed to be virgins. At one time celibate meant not married and not having intercourse. At that time here were more than enough Catholic clergy. Buddhists admire gold star gays and lesbian clergy. It is about not having to accumulate a lot of material possessions, which is a goal with a hetero married couple. Throughout the ages gays and lesbians have often helped with spiritual matters. And they help their siblings with raising children. Gold stars help keep the population in control. Now that gays and lesbians can adopt or use artificial insemination, on can actively plan for a child.

      This was in response to the message below:
      Bob in Chicago

      November 28, 2012 at 6:47 pm

      I guess I am a gold star gay. I never knew there was a name for it. I have always joked that I am technically a virgin since I have never been with a women. I like god star gay. Sounds good.


      • DSilvain says:

        I’m sorry… but when I read “Gold stars have a type of innocence..”, I almost fell out of bed from laughter, because i am one… but I’m as innocent as the sheets of a brothel

        • Brave Gold Star Gay Boy says:

          Innocent in the sense of just doing male/male sex. That is not so serious and headache ridden as straight sex, judging from my straight friends. They are always up and women make them that way.

  2. I was watching Andy Cohen and Melissa Etheridge was on his show. They were talking about Gold Star Gay’s and I was not familiar with the term, so I googled it and found your page. I wasn’t expecting such an enlightened being who not only answered the questioned but impressed me with such an in depth open hearted response to how we label ourselves. I am not referring to being gay or straight but to you as a “being”. I love how you express yourself and views on life. I just wanted to take a moment to say, “thank you for being you” and thank you for posting your views online. Btw, I saw your picture and that combined with who you ARE, you would have had a “chance” with the guy you wrote about. Don’t sell yourself short, buddy. You have a lot to offer….

  3. Dylan UK says:

    I’m A Gold Star Gay But am in my mid 30’s, I have never even had any female friends tottally attracted to men, some girl did try to come on to me once and i tottally ignored all her advances, I dont consider myself a virgin as in the kingley scale i consider myself totally gay and not attracted to any females so would never want to do anything with them,

    I Grew up in the 80’s as a kid 90’s as a teenager, I never really pretended to be straight other then in words, no one ever really picked on me for being gay or suspicion and luckily i was the biggest kid in my school year so they wouldnt dare also i was a joker and very popular which also helped i guess…

    I sometimes feel my life is a failure but the one thing i do think to myself is being gay is the best thing about me, I love being gay always knew even when i was 8 years old i recall dreaming about other boys from school, when i was young i was always smiling so got the nickname of the smiler, so always been happy never depressed very lucky and unusual in that as well,

    So Gold Star Gays in their 30’s are about also
    I Never wish to change this 100% Gay

  4. A Wolfe says:

    What the fuck is sweet panther?

  5. Brave Gold Star Gay Boy says:

    It is great to be gay!!!

  6. Dylan says:

    I’m gold star gay but grew up in the 90s so it’s not just the younger guys, I was always very strong willed always only did what I wanted to and am only attracted to guys so why would I ever attempt a relationship with the opposite sex never did never will

  7. dreamer says:

    Technically one is a virgin if they never had coitus . You can be sexually experienced but still be a virgin. Straight people say they are virgins and are holding out for marriage for coitus but do everything else. Gold stars are not better, just blessed to achieve a personal goal of never having coitus. Straight people are not required to try gay sex to know they do not want it.. I know so many gay and lesbian people dated and petted with the opposite sex but firmly drew the line with no coitus. And that was one reason they knew strongly that they were gay or lesbian. They feel blessed. They do not think they are better. They do feel blessed about being sexually experience but holding on to their virginity. Understandably they get real upset if someone tries to take their virginity.

  1. December 26, 2012

    […] even more problematic, in fact it discounts the fact that most gay and bisexual men are not “gold star gays” and went on for years having pleasurable intercourse with the opposite […]

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