Do you want children? Have you discussed it with your partner/spouse? How often do you think of starting your own family? These are questions that our generation in the LGBT community are able to ask ourselves and making this once perceived dream into a reality than our predecessors.

With the country becoming more accepting of same sex couples our lifestyle opportunities have also increased.It is a challenge. Recently, The New York Times discusses the evolving reality of same sex couples expanding thier families. Newly married couple Tom Lotito and Matt Hay are now faced with this decision of whether to extend their family.

Since their nuptials they have been asked numerous times not if, but when they would have children. The experience has been great and leaves Matt with the impression that“It’s another way that I feel like what we have is valid in the eyes of other people,” 

University of California’s Gary Gates from the Williams Institute examined a recent census of couples that chose adoption. “The definition of family is unquestionably evolving,” Dr. Gates stated.  Between 2000 to 2010 the census showed that adoption had risen from 9 to 20 percent.  Dr. Gate found in his research that  of the 20 percent a third of those were male same sex couples.

Now there’s also help for same sex couples looking for representation and aadvice for suggoacy like The International Fertility Law Group that provides legal assistance.

Unfortunately there’s still opposition to same sex couples having children from the religious right but as more support grows for same sex couples looking for options, these hecklers effect on the situation is dwindling.

The younger generation even has role models to emulate from like Neil Patrick Harris and Matt Bomer that have children via a surrogate with their longterm partners. We have more options. Now for those parents of gay couples are beginning to realize that we can have the same life experiences as straight couples if we choose to.

It is a discussion that all couples regardless of sexuality need to have now. Regardless of sexuality, with a barrier now eroding, LGBT looking for longterm relationships are discussing this issue. I discussed it with my last partner and about our desire to have a family. Make no mistake we considered what an uphill battle the entire way. But I want my own family more than anything in this world so any of those obstacles would be well worth it.

It’s a hard decision for some as this evolution in our culture gives gay couples the same opportunities and challenges that straight couples face. Currently it depends on where you live in the US but (hopefully) one day soon that won’t be an obstacle. But expanding the family for same sex couples  is now longer just a dream.