True Blood: Season 4 – Episode 1 Recap – "She’s Not There" (And Neither Is Any Resemblance To The Books)

If you haven’t yet watched  Episode 1/ Season 4 of True Blood WARNING there are MASSIVE SPOLIERS after the jump/

The season opener picks up right where season three left off – Sookie traveling to “fairyland.”  “How fucking lame is that.“as Sookie would say. You see, as it turns out every human with fairy blood on earth has a fairy godmother, even. Barry, the  bellhop from Season 2, who is there with his linen-clad Abercombie male model of a fairy godmother, and guess who is also there?  Sookie’s granddaddy, Earl!

Sookie,  immediately mistrusts the glimmering fae and their glowing fruit. And, of course, once again she’s right. These fairies (including Caludette) are  actuality are hideous creatures who look like “Witchipoo” from H.R. Huffinstuff and want to close the opening between the fairy world and Earth so the vampires can’t eat them so they are collecting all the humans so the portal will close.  But luckily the faerie resistance arrives led by Claudette’s brother Claude, (who’s supposed to be gorgeous and gay in the Sookie Stackhouse books but in hideous fairyland looks like something from last call at the Monster on Sunday night) who saves Sookie and Earl by showing them the portal back to their “alternate plane” and to try to jump back over the shark before its too late!

Sookie and Earl land back in BonTemps, but Grandaddy Earl is dying.  See he ate the glowing fruit and although he swears he’s only been in fairyland for a week it’s really been 20 years so he grows old and explodes into dust on Nan’s grave.  Sookie, being Sookie brushes off the dust and heads back to her house.  What else is she supposed to do?

Sookie arrives at her old battle scared home to find its been painted, fixed up, and now has a 52 inch flat screen TV!  She sits at the kitchen table to collect her thoughts and the police arrive and its none other than Jason sporting a scraggly goatee who explains to Sookie that shes been gone for over a year and everyone thought she was dead!  Jason is now a full fledged Bon Temps policeman, who also sold her house because he thought she was dead and that doesn’t sit too well with the Sookster.

There have been alot of changes in the 12 months since Sookie was in fairyland.  Jason’s police partner is now Andy Belfuer who seems to have been busted back to patrol (He was in uniform) and is also now hooked on V.   And we are also (briefly) introduced to Andy’s sister Portia.  A snooty lawyer.

Elsewhere in BonTemps, Hoyt and Jess struggle to make their life together work – dinner is an issue at their house both his and hers, and Arlene worries that her new infant son Mikey, who likes to rip the heads of Barbie dolls, might grow up to be a serial killer like his Daddy Renee.  And Sam who’s going to anger management sessions with other shape shifters still has issues with his brother Tommy who Sam DID shoot at the end of Season 3,(but only in the leg), is Hoyt’s replacement son now to Maxine Fontenberry.

Cue the witches, but not the ones from the book unfortunately.  Now instead we have Fiona Shaw playing   as Marnie, the head of a coven of witches that Lafayette and Jesus are drawn into.  That’s about all for that storyline last night.  Except that Shaw did a good job of imitating Eddie the doomed vampire from Season 1.

Vampire Bill got an upgrade (and a haircut) and is now the King of Louisiana, living like a James Bond villain and running around doing public appearances.  We can only think that he kicked Queen Sophie’s ass at the end of Season 3 because they didn’t show it last night night (There had better be some flashbacks coming up) and Eric is becoming the posterboy for the “new” vampire movement thanks to Nan Flanigan because the vamps now live in “live in a post Russell Edgington world” and they need to win the humans trust back one smile at a time.  Oh and it also turns out that Eric, under the guise of a phony corporation bought Sookie’s house.  So now according to Eric since he owns the house, he also owns Sookie. 

And last but not least Tara.  This is where True Blood dropped the ball by falling into the old cliche’ that if a woman has many doomed relationships with men that she’ll become a lesbian.  And that’s exactly what they did with Tara who is now not only a lesbian and in a relationship in New Orleans but also is an Ultimate Female Ring Fighter!  OY VEY!

All in all interesting in a sort of WTF are they doing sort of way but as of this moment almost any resemblance to the books is gone (except for the upcoming Eric’s amnesia storyline that is)

But the BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT of the night…….NO ALCIDE! *whimper, whimper, whimper*

What do you think?

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