‘The A-List: New York’ Gets A BIG RED "F" – Are You Reading This Derek Satthoff?
Last night Logo premiered its (scripted) reality series, The A-List: New York. Finally after hours of washing the bood from my eyes the The A-List: New York. does nothing more than make gay people look stupid and vapid and vile. Its as though it was the scheme of every anti-gay extremist in collusion to present negative stereotypes. Every character is vapid and talks constantly about just how fabulous they are, about being fabulous, fabulous partying, fabulous shopping and getting fabulously sprayed tanned and their fabulous faux fame.
“I’m best friends with Lindsay Lohan. She stays at my apartment when she’s in New York.” says Fashion agent twink Derek Statthoff. (Now that’s something to brag about isn’t it? ) Derek who when not bragging about how fabulous he is. “If you read about me on Monday morning,” Derek says, “it was a fierce weekend.” Spends his extra time getting spray tanned ala’ Michael Korrs because he has anxiety attacks if he seems pale. And really LOGO did you have to show his flat ass in a g-string while he was getting spray painted? UGH!
Other cast members include Mike Ruiz, a major celebrity photographer known from shows like “RuPaul’s Drag Race who likes to try on the models clothes and heels during “downtime” and Ryan Nickulas, who runs a high-end downtown salon and seems to be channeling Prez Hilton and whose best friend/ assistant TJ is so much more attractive, and funnier than he is/
But the show really seems to center around Reichen (yawn) Lehmkuhl, former “Amazing Race” winner who is best known for dating Lance Bass and whose current passion is acting. As the show begins, he’s polishing up his singing and dancing (because he can’t do either) nor the lead in the Off-Broadway production “My Big Gay Italian Wedding.” Which he sucks at. We know he sucks, his friends know he sucks, and Reichen knows he sucks. But the producers of the show obviously though “A-List” trumped actual talent.
Reichen also has a new Brazilian model boyfriend, Rodiney Santiago, who struggles with English like Ricky Ricardo and seems like a frisky puppy waiting out his final hours at the pound before he’s put down. He’s madly in love with Reichen; Reichen tells him all the right things to his face, and then in confessionals, says he sort of likes Rodiney but that he better get a job soon because he’s sick of footing the bills.
Cue our antagonist one-time model Austin Armacost who has returned to New York with some baggage – about 20 extra pounds, making him unemployable.He’s also obsessed with Reichen. Seems the two shared a brief fling, in a “boil-the-bunny” “Fatal Attraction” kind of way And all the other queens are “suspicious” of Austin. but yet they still hang out with him. Oh yes, that’s right it’s in their contract.
So the big storyline here will be that both Rodiney and Austin will fight for Reichen but both are doomed because Reichen has already met the love of his life: himself
Add some crappy editing, prolonged segway shots of queens walking the streets of NYC with shopping bags, and some VERY scripted unreality moments and we have a show that only Focus on the Family and The National Organization for Marriage can love because it gives them further ammunition
How long before Logo attempts a gay version of “Jersey Shore”?