The Good Ole Days When Lesbian Kisses Actually Meant You Were a Lesbian

By the looks of the MTV Music Awards last night if you’re a female celebrity and you haven’t gone girl-on-girl before a crowd of roaring, adoring males, you’re probably gay. Last night, Sandra kissed Scarlett as revenge on Jesse. How did lesbian kisses become the ultimate mainstream display of hetero-desirability?

Back in 1995, “I Kissed a Girl” was a song by a lesbian folk singer about being gay. Eight years later, Madonna caused a media shitstorm by kissing the resolutely straight Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on an MTV stage. Seven years later, a former Christian rocker turned “I Kissed a Girl” into a anthem of straight girl titillation. Now America’s middle-aged sweetheart SANDRA BULLOCK is locking lips with ladies on another MTV stage as proof that she’s lovable as ever. And tween queen Miley Cyrus says the girl-on-girl near-kisses in her choregraphy are “nothing” and shouldn’t imply gayness even slightly.

I kissed a girl ’cause it’s trendy…

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