BREAKING NEWS! Statistics Show That 8 out of 10 Tea Party Members Suffer PTBPD – PLUS SNL Mocks Tea Party! (Video)
According to The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV), 8 out of 10 Tea Party members now show at least 5 of the following criteria that must be present to indicate PTBPD (Post Traumatic Black President Disorder):
1. Pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects
2. A pattern of unstable and intense irrationality and magical thinking related to paranoia that the government is socialist and out to get you
3. Tendency to wear Paul Revere clothing to include silly hat, buckled shoes, knickers, white knee socks, and garters; when not wearing Paul Revere attire, a tendency to wear gaudy and classless red, white, and blue clothing embroidered with eagles
4. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self with a penchant towards hysteria over nothing
5. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
6. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger and outbursts of screaming “Ah waan Mah Cuntry Baack”
7. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms with tendencies to believe in conspiracy theories or question the authenticity of a certain President’s birth certificate
8. Must be obstinately argumentative providing exhaustive amounts of information all of which can be rendered pointless with less than 30 seconds of research on Google
Also watch as SNL’s Bill Hader made an appearance as James Carville last night on “Weekend Update,” and had some fun at the Tea Baggers expense.
“You can’t dress how you dress and not expect jokes. You’re wearing colonial costumes. And not even the whole costume…Which founding father wore the tri-corner hat with an Orlando Magic Jersey?”