Some Of The 2010 Oscar Best Picture Nominee’s Re-Imagined As Gay Porn

And this years nominees for Best Picture are…..

UP –  An animated, Viagra-sponsored tale about a grieving old man, his floating Palm Springs mid-century modern home, and the legions of young pool-boys, gardeners, pizza delivery drivers, and cable repairmen whose balloons he has to pop in order to learn life’s central lesson: so long as you can get it UP life is goo-d.

Up in the Air –  George Clooney attempts to earn Executive Palladium status in American Airlines’ Frequent Mile-Higher program, by “hitting the call button” with hot stewards in some of the jetway’s classiest lavatories.

The Hurt Locker – Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell my ass! These boys get on their knees to do more than fire that rifle.  In this Iraq War-based S&M fantasy, Catherine Biganlow unleashes a foot(long )locker of hurt on a young cast of unknowns.

Fantastic Mr. Fox – Speaking of fox-holes, George clooney is at it again as he  attempts to plug as many as he can as the voice of a mangy, dirty old fox. Just when he’s finally lived down his former Den Master title and taken up running a clothing-optional B&B (Burrow & Breakfast), Mr. Fox gets pulled back in for “just one more raid” on a trio of local Scout camps. What makes Mr. Fox so fantastic? I think you can guess. (Hint: it’s more girth than length.) But you’ll have to see it to truly believe it.

It’s Complicated –  Your gay marriage sours and you get gay divorced. Obviously, your first act is to immediately return to whoring around, making your extremely well-endowed ex- jealous. So he comes poking back into the picture. If you were straight, this would be a solid premise on which to build a romantic comedy. But since you’re gay, it’s simply another good excuse for ninety-minutes of sleazy three-way action!

Inglourious Basterds – Super Butch Jewish Army Sergeant Chaim Putitin is gathering a special crack team of hot, young, Jewish-American WWII soldiers. They plan to strike fear into the hearts and butts of the Nazis by implementing a brutal Double-Penetration Campaign. A gang bang epic for the ages.  UNCUT and, well, er…..UNCUT.

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Will Kohler

Will Kohler is a noted LGBT historian, journalist and owner of Back2Stonewall.com. A longtime gay activist, Will fought on the front lines of the AIDS epidemic with ACT-UP and continues fighting today for LGBT acceptance and full equality. Will’s work has been referenced in notable media venues as MSNBC and BBC News, The Washington Post, The Daily Beast, Hollywood Reporter, and Raw Story,

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